Entertainment giant, Lionsgate Play released an independent research study in 2023 that aimed to decode the concept of relationships and heartbreaks among millennials and Gen Z in India. It came up with some startling data. 1 in 2 Indians believed it is important to live in a relationship before getting into a committed one. 37% of Indians thought it’s acceptable to live with a partner even after a breakup. 34% of Indians believed their parents would be open to them being in a live-in relationship. 87% of men and 92% of women believed that love is friendship, according to the concept “PyaarDosti Hai.” 34% of Indians agreed to engage in casual sex with other partners even if emotionally attached to someone else. 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women prioritized good looks over emotional connection when selecting partners. 72% of Indians aged 33-38 and 67% of those aged 27-32 thought it’s easier to break up than to fix a relationship. 48% of Indians thought starting a new relationship is the best way to move on. 53% of women had a “forget your ex, move on to the next” attitude, while 66% of men were open to rekindling their first love.
Let’s look at how societal norms regarding sex and marriage have changed over the years. Pre-20th century, marriage was viewed as a religious or sacred bond, essential for legitimizing sexual relations and procreation. It was generally seen as a lifelong commitment, with divorce being rare and socially stigmatized. Sexual activity outside of marriage was considered immoral or sinful, with strict societal expectations around chastity and fidelity. Marriage came with rigid gender roles, where men were seen as providers and women as caretakers and child-bearers. Women’s sexual autonomy was limited, and their primary identity was often tied to their role as wives and mothers.
The early 20th century saw gradual shifts with the rise of urbanization, industrialization, and changing economic conditions, which began altering traditional family structures. The sexual revolution of the 1960s-1970s marked a major turning point, challenging traditional norms around sex and marriage. There was a growing acceptance of premarital sex, cohabitation, and the use of contraception. Feminism played a significant role in advocating for women’s sexual autonomy and equality in relationships. Divorce became more socially acceptable and legally accessible, leading to a rise in divorce rates. The idea of marriage as a personal choice rather than a lifelong obligation gained traction.
During the late 20th century to the early 21st century, living together before marriage (cohabitation) became increasingly common, seen by some as a way to test compatibility before making a lifelong commitment. This period also saw the rise of “common-law marriages” in some regions. There was a growing acceptance of non-traditional relationship models, including single parenthood, same-sex relationships, and open relationships.
Society began to recognize and protect the rights of LGBTQ+ individuals, leading to the legalization of same-sex marriage in many countries. People began marrying later in life, often prioritizing education, career, and personal development before settling down. This shift was accompanied by a decline in legal marriage rates and the rise of live-in relationships.
Today one of the most common type of cohabitation between two people of the opposite sex is “live-in relationships”. While regular marriage is recognized legally with formal registration and documentation, providing legal rights and responsibilities, including the process of divorce and separation that involves division of property and alimony; live-in relationships typically lacks formal legal recognition and documentation. It does not provide the same legal rights and protections as marriage. It is often seen as a more informal or modern arrangement and may not always receive the same level of social acceptance or recognition as marriage, depending on cultural and societal attitudes.
In live-in relationships, partners might not have the same set of expectations or formal promises as in marriage. In regular marriages, there is a clear legal status for parental rights and responsibilities, the legal status and rights related to children are ambiguous and parents in live-in relationships may need to take additional legal steps to establish and protect parental rights.
One of the main reasons for escaping the norm of regular marriage and engaging in live-in relationships is the perceived freedom and personal liberty it offers, which are sacrosanct concepts in today’s culture and civilization. However, upon closer and deeper introspection, one may realize that being morally profligate can inhibit your freedom and liberties in several ways. Engaging in actions that are morally questionable may also be illegal, leading to legal repercussions such as fines, imprisonment, or other penalties that directly restrict personal freedom.
Live-in partner may experience damaged relationships, loss of trust, and social ostracism. They may face exclusion from social, professional, or community circles, which can limit social opportunities and freedoms. A live-in relationship often leads to personal consequences such as guilt, regret, or a diminished sense of self-worth. These feelings can impact one’s mental and emotional well-being, limiting one’s ability to pursue and enjoy personal freedoms.
Live-in relationships often lead to a tarnished reputation that can affect one’s career prospects, personal relationships, and opportunities for advancement, thereby restricting freedom to fully engage in various aspects of life. Hence, while live-in relationships might seem like a form of exercising personal freedom, it can actually lead to various constraints and limitations on your freedom and liberties by resulting in legal issues, social isolation, personal distress, and damage to your reputation.
Islam prohibits sex outside of marriage (effectively delegitimizing live-in relationships and making it completely haram) based on several key principles found in the Qur’an and Hadith, which guide the ethical and moral framework of Islamic teachings.
Marriage in Islam is seen as the foundation of a stable family structure. By prohibiting live-in relationships, Islam aims to protect the family unit and ensure that children are born into a recognized and stable environment with both parents. Islam seeks to protect individuals from the potential physical and emotional harm associated with premarital or extramarital sexual relations. This includes concerns about sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, and emotional distress.
By restricting sexual activity to marriage, Islam aims to uphold social morality and prevent behaviors that could lead to societal disintegration. It is a proven fact that sexual discipline contributes to a healthier, more respectful community. Islam emphasizes the importance of respect and modesty in interactions between individuals. Prohibiting sex outside marriage helps maintain personal dignity and respects the sanctity of intimate relationships. Premarital or extramarital sex can lead to complex issues, including family disputes, legal battles over paternity and inheritance, and social stigma. Islam seeks to prevent these complications by ensuring that sexual relations occur within a legal and recognized framework. For Muslims, adherence to Islamic laws is a matter of faith and obedience to God. The prohibition regarding live-in/ sex outside marriage is seen as a divine commandment meant to guide individuals towards a righteous and disciplined way of life.