Biological mother is one who delivers a child. In fact, according to Islam, all female children reaching puberty are eligible for such motherhood after solemnisation of marriage, and family life is inevitable in Islam. The Holy Qur’ān and Prophetic traditions promote the institution of marriage and inspire human beings to lead a family life. In Sahih Bukhari we can note a hadīth, “Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) rejected the proposal of Uthman bin Mazum to lead a life of celibacy.” The contract of marriage is described as a strong pledge in the Holy Qur’ān (Surah 4:30). Referring to the importance of family life, Islamic ideology describes ‘a married woman as the guardian of her husband’s family and is answerable for that’.
Motherhood is more than delivery of a child. A mother should conceive noble qualities to establish peace and prosperity for a better future and safeguard human tradition. Model of motherhood of a lady could be brought out from the behavioural pattern of ladies who nurtured or fostered Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be to him), born to Abdullah and Amina of the noble Quraish family. It was a custom among the noble Arabs that the new born babies would be breastfed by foster mothers. Amina, the beloved mother of infant Muhammad, was searching for a lady as per the custom. Muhammad was breast-fed for seven days by his mother Amina herself.
Then Amina could not get a suitable nurse to feed her new born baby. However, a maid slave of Abu Lahb, Sobiya, took the responsibility, and she breastfed infant Muhammad for a few days. In those days, breast-feeding was a source of income to foster mothers. As such, no one save a frail lady, named Haleema, showed willingness to feed an orphan child (Muhammad). Allah blessed Haleema for her magnanimity and kindness. She had no milk in her breast before. But, as she started to feed infant Muhammad, milk flowed from her breast (may Allah bless Haleema). Haleema got another blessing from Allah. Her she-camel was weak and thin before she took up this duty. Surprisingly, the camel gave plenty of milk (a miracle). Haleema was popular as the foster mother of Muhammad (PBUH). She showed to the world the real meaning of motherhood. The Prophet too loved her and her relatives very much.
Carol L Anway, after embracing Islam, reveals how her family life changed and her love for parents increased. She narrates the story of her visit to father-in-law and mother-in-law. It reveals how much respect she gave to them like given to her own mother. Carol says even though her mother had difference of opinion with her in many matters in Islam including hijab, she visited them and paid respect as she learned from Islam
POSITION OF PARENTS
Infant Muhammad’s love towards mother Amina and foster mother Haleema is revealed by Dr. M.E. Asad Subhani in these words: “Haleema immensely loved Muhammad. He was the apple of her eyes, and peace of her heart. Muhammad similarly loved Haleema. Whenever she came to see him even after the revelations began, he would run towards her and would give her a warm hug crying my mother, my mother. Muhammad’s separation would be tortuous. But she could do nothing now. It was necessary to take him to his home and it was not possible to delay the return of child further.” (Muhammad (PBUH), the Guide of Mankind, p. 24) Haleema’s love for the child and Muhammad’s love for his mother is presented well by the author in the above lines.
In Surah Bani Israel Allah says: “Thy Lord hath decreed that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say no to them a word of contempt, nor repel them but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them the Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood’.” (17:23-24).
In Surah Al-Ankabut Allah says: “We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge obey them not.” (29:8). Parents need not to be obeyed only in the case of shirk (if they insist one to worship other than the Creator.)
PROPHET’S TEACHINGS
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) used to advise his companions to respect parents, especially mother. He said: “Paradise lies at the feet of the mother.” One day a person asked the Prophet whom should he respect most in the world? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) answered, “Your mother.” The question was repeated four times, and three times the Prophet gave the same answer. The fourth time he said ‘your father’.
Once, a young boy wanted to join Islamic army against enemies. The Prophet asked him whether his parents are alive. The boy replied in the positive. The Prophet told him that service to parents is to be preferred to holy war even.
ILLUSTRATING MOTHER’S LOVE
Mother’s love is illustrated with parables. Two lovers, a young man and a girl, after a long time romance, decided to marry. But the girl wanted to confirm her lover’s love. She asked the young man to get his mother’s heart, if he has true love for her. The man was shocked to hear her demand. But, in the end he decided to kill his mother and get the heart for his lover. After taking the heart he ran to the girl. But, on the way he fell down. Then the heart (of his mother) asked him whether he was hurt when he fell down. Such is the love of the mother!
A young man, after his marriage, wanted to ‘separate’ his ‘one-eyed’ mother from him, as he felt ashamed to face others because of her. He told his mother that her ugly look is shameful to him. Mother, with grief and sorrow, left the home and stayed in another house. After a long time the old lady wanted to visit her former neighbour. Unfortunately, she came to her old house. Then, the son shouted: “Did I not tell you that I do not like to see you?” Mother told him by mistake she had gone there. After a long time her new neighbour handed over a letter to the son. In the letter the story of her ‘one eye’ was revealed. It was written that the eye was donated to her son when he was a child with one eye damaged. Then only the son realised his mistake. By the time the old lady had left this world.
An old man, with week eyesight, asked his son ‘which bird is on the tree’ while they were sitting in a park. The son replied that is ‘such a bird’. The old man could not realise his answer, and asked second time the same question. The son shouted: “Did I not tell you which bird?” The old man told his young son: “My son, we were in the same park when you were a child. That time you had asked me ‘what is on the tree’. I gave the reply. You asked the same question several times. I gave you the answer very patiently.” This is the mindset of a father. That is why the Holy Qur’ān tells us to ward off impatience while speaking to parents.
One day, a mother told his married son that they should go to any hotel for food in the weekend. The son accepted the offer, and they ate together. When the son offered to pay the bill, the mother told she would do it. At the time of their departure, the mother told the son that they should get together in the same hotel at the weekend. The son agreed. Next week when the son reached the hotel, the mother was not there. The hotel manager gave him a letter addressed to the son. In the letter it was written: “My son, I do not know whether I would be alive next week. I have entrusted some money with the hotel manager for your expense.” She died the same day. The mother did not want her son to take the financial burden. The motherhood is revealed in such incidents.
Maulana Sadruddin Islahi has cited from the Qur’ānic ayaahs in his Islam at a Glance. The Holy Qur’ān says: “So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded.” (4:34) The concept of motherhood in Islam is a noble one.