Self-Discovery is the most profitable knowledge as it takes a man closer to Allah the Exalted. Man by discovering himself can reach a very high level of spirituality. The Qur’ān comprehensively explains the creation, nature, responsibilities, trials and return of man. We should remember that man is thrown into this world without his knowledge and he is removed from it again without his consent or will. Therefore, man should try to discover himself before it is too late. This is very much necessary as only the discovery of self will help man to understand his purpose of life and live a meaningful life or else there will not be any difference between the life of a man and that of an animal.
ii. Self Control: It refers to redirecting one’s disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) said, “Verily, true patience is that which is displayed during the initial shock.” Therefore, when one contains his emotions upon both joyful and calamitous occasions, he is likely to achieve peace and tranquillity, happiness and comfort, and the taste of triumph over his own self. Allah described man as being exultant and boastful, irritable, discontent when evil touches him, and niggardly when good touches him. The exception, Allah informed us, are those who remain constant in prayer, for they are the ones on a middle path in times of both joy and sorrow. They are thankful during times of ease and are patient during times of hardship.
Emotions play a very important role in every man’s life. In order to make the Muslims emotionally attached, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) said, “The whole Muslim Ummah is like a single body. When one part of the body is hurt, the whole body feels it.” He also said, “None of you is a Muslim until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” (Bukhari)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) was a person who was full of Emotional Intelligence. Once the Prophet, said to Aisha, “I know when you are angry with me or not, if you were content with me you say no and by the God of Muhammad. And if you were angry with me you say, no and by the God of Ibrahim.” (Muslim)
A person who strongly believes in Allah will handle his emotions with great wisdom, as Allah the Exalted says in the Qur’ān, “Indeed, with hardship (will be) ease.” (Qur’ān 94:6) Anyone can become angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way, is not easy. The one who overcomes his own self is braver than the one who conquers a city. Especially the young people should strive to be emotionally intelligent as they tend to get emotional very fast. Thus, whenever one comes across a situation where he is about to get angry, happy, sad, excited, surprised, etc., he should put Prophet Muhammad in that situation and imagine what he would have done in the given situation and definitely we will get our answer.
Having control over one’s anger is a crucial aspect of being Emotionally Intelligent. The behaviour of a courageous person is based on wisdom and serenity of soul. He gets angry on proper occasions and is patient and restrained. His anger is to the proper extent and if he takes revenge, it is with reason and discretion. He knows well as to whom he should forgive and what to overlook and ignore.
Anger is a secret weapon of man towards evil but in the state of excess, it results in the destruction of many noble qualities. It snatches the wisdom of man and thus he becomes a brute beast devoid of any sense. Anger is a temptation and deception of Satan. It is the root of many evils. It is a spark of fire that is always bursting. It is a very bad condition that weakens the person’s Faith. It is the strong feeling caused by extreme displeasure and hostility.
It is well known today that anger causes many health problems and can be a symptom or cause of mental illness, if not controlled. It also causes harm to an individual physically, psychologically, socially and emotionally. It has many drawbacks which affect different aspects of one’s life and on the other hand if one controls his anger, he will be able to improve his overall well-being.
Allah says in the Qur’ān, “And when Moses returned to his people, angry and grieved, he said, “How wretched is that by which you have replaced me after (my departure). Were you impatient over the matter of your Lord?” And he threw down the tablets and seized his brother by (the hair of) his head, pulling him toward him….” (Qur’ān 7:150) Allah also says, “(Moses) said, “My Lord, forgive me and my brother and admit us into Your mercy….” (Qur’ān 7:151) When a man is angry, he generally commits three wrong acts. From these verses we can learn that, Moosa first took a wrong decision by throwing the tablets which were given to him by Allah the Exalted, then he blamed Haroon for not doing the work which was assigned to him, and finally he asked Allah the Exalted for forgiveness at a later stage. Thus, abstaining from getting angry would be the best way out to be emotionally intelligent.
An individual should always try avoiding anger because the action which an individual takes while he is angry tends to be wrong most of the time. First, he takes wrong decisions; secondly, he removes his anger on someone else; and thirdly, he regrets for getting angry at a later stage. We will be able to find all these three reactions in the Qur’ān from the life of Moosa.
Among the various aspects of emotions, Islam gives high importance to control one’s anger. Allah says in the Qur’ān, “… and who restrain anger and who pardon the people and Allah loves the doers of good.” (Qur’ān 3:134) Once, the maid of Hasan dropped a hot bowl of soup on him. She was very scared because she thought Hasan would be angry and punish her. She immediately recited the verse, “…Those who control (their) anger….” Hasan smiled and said he was not angry. Then she recited the next part of the verse, “…And are forgiving towards people….” Hasan said he had forgiven her. She then finished the verse, “…Allah loves those who do good.” Hasan told her she was free. Thus, the Qur’ān teaches us that one should control his emotions to such an extent that he should not only control his anger but also forgive the person and should also go to the extent of doing good.
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) once advised his companion, saying, “Don’t be angry.” He repeated this three times. And when a man became angry in his presence, the Prophet ordered him to seek refuge in Allah from the cursed Satan.
Prophet Muhammad also used to advise people to control their anger as it would lead to wrong actions. Abu Hurairah narrated that a man said to the Prophet, “Advise me,” the Prophet said, “Do not become angry and furious.” The man asked (for the same) again and again, and each time the Prophet would say, “Do not become angry and furious.” (Bukhari) This also helps us learn the importance which the Prophet used to give for controlling one’s emotions.
When Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) went to Taif to invite people to Islam, people of Taif laughed at him and their children threw stones at him, mocked him and wounded him. They wounded him so much that he almost collapsed. On the return the angel responsible for the mountains asked the Prophet for permission to crush the people of Taif and Makkah by bringing together the mountains on either side of the two cities. But Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) refused the offer and instead prayed for the people of Taif by saying, “O Lord, guide my people because they do not know.” He did not respond to the angel’s offer out of anger but responded with a cool mind in spite of the pain which he was undergoing. He was a person with a high level of Emotional Intelligence; he in spite of getting angry on the people, he prayed for them with the hope that the coming generation would accept Islam. This is the best example the world has ever witnessed with respect to being Emotionally Intelligent by replying to wounds with prayers.
Prophet Mohammed (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) once said, “He is not strong who throws down another, but he is, who controls his anger.” (Bukhari and Muslim) He not only tells to control the anger but also gives a remedy to control our anger if it arouses. He said, “If anger arouses anyone, he should sit down and if that does not help, he should lie down.” (Tirmidhi)
There are different methods of handling anger, depending on the person and situation. If a person gets angry, he should exercise holding himself accountable for the mistakes committed, what led to them, and how to overcome them in the future. Examining ourselves and holding ourselves accountable is an important training and a source of discipline and self-improvement. The Qur’ān and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad not only discourage anger but also give methods which could be adopted to reduce or overcome one’s anger. The following are the various methods:
a. Forgive: The opposite of anger is mildness and forbearance. These are the characteristics which are counted among perfect qualities of a human being. They make a person forgiving and merciful, although he may have complete power to take revenge. Allah says in the Qur’ān, “Keep to forgiveness, and enjoin what is fair, and turn away from the ignorant.” (Qur’ān 7:199) Prophet Muhammad has also said, “Forgiveness raises a man’s station; forgive so that Allah may honour you.”
b. Remember the Reward: Allah says in the Qur’ān, “… and who restrain anger and who pardon the people and Allah loves the doers of good.” (Qur’ān 3:134) Forgive and forget. Remember the rewards and virtues of patience, mercy and forgiveness.
c. Supplication: Allah says in the Qur’ān, “And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Satan, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is Hearing and Knowing.” (Qur’ān 7:200) Prophet Muhammad said, “If a man gets angry and says, ‘I seek refuge with Allah’, his anger will go away.” Therefore when someone is angry, he should immediately say “Audhu billahi minash shaitanir rajim”, which means, I seek shelter in Allah from the rejected Satan.
d. Wudu: Wadu can also be a shield against anger. The Prophet Muhammad said, “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water. So when one of you becomes angry, he should make wudu.”
e. Changing Position: Prophet Muhammad has said, “When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.”
f. Keeping Quiet: The Prophet Muhammad said, “If one of you becomes angry then he should stay silent.” This is an important practice because when we are angry our actions and speech may be disproportionate and unjust.
The above mentioned are steps to be taken when anger has approached a person. But one should try to identify the causes of anger so that it could be avoided and the problem can be resolved from the grassroots itself. Some of the common causes of a person becoming angry are pride, selfishness, stubbornness, greed, jealousy and suspicion.
On one end, anger is really bad, but on the other, absence of anger is also an evil, which drags man into humiliation, subjugation and inability to defend his rights. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) would never get angry on personal matters. He never got angry except when the commandments of Allah were violated. If he would, he would get angry on religious issues. He once said, “I nearly decided to tell my servants to gather firewood, then I would have told them to give the iqaamah and start praying, then I would have burned the houses of people who did not attend the prayer.” (Tirmidhi) The hadīth shows that the Prophet got angry when people did not perform their religious obligations.
In another incident, Prophet Muhammad got angry and it was also on a religious issue. Once, the Prophet sent a detachment to fight in the way of Allah. During the fight one of the companions received wounds on his body. When he woke up in the morning with wet dream, he found that he needed to take a bath in order to pray, and so he asked those around him whether they knew of an excuse for him not to have to bath, they said no, that he must take a bath; so he did and died because when the water got on his wounds they festered and so on and his temperature rose and he died. When the news reached the Prophet, he became extremely angry and said, “They killed him, may Allah kill them, should they not have asked if they didn’t know? Verily the cure for ignorance is to question. It would have been enough for him had he performed tayammum.” In this incident as well, the Prophet got angry only because it was a religious matter.
(to be concluded)