The migration of people from villages to cities and from cities to metro cities has transformed the structure of urban areas and impacted the urban life. Cities of yesterday have become big cities today, and what were big cities are now counted among metro cities. Metro cities have become attractive due to industrial and commercial development resources, employment opportunities, as well as abundant technology, economic activities, and basic infrastructure. Educational opportunities and other factors have led to an ever-increasing trend of rural and urban populations moving to metro cities.
Dense population, cramped residential spaces, the fast pace of busy life, daily commutes of several hours to reach workplaces, and the strangeness from one another due to migration from different regions have increased the possibilities of indifference. In metro cities, while spatial proximity has increased among neighbours and distances between doors and homes have decreased, this closeness is diminishing in relationships. An entire neighbourhood is being compressed into apartment buildings, but the distances between hearts are growing.
The Dream of Prosperity
Urban life has its own problems. Those who turn toward the city with dreams of a better life not only become distant from their loved ones but also get entangled in the whirlwind of a new city, feelings of alienation, and busy life. This situation feels even more frightening when someone faces unexpected circumstances and there is no one to care. It is a witnessed reality that often people learn about a death in their neighbourhood only when they see a funeral procession at their neighbour’s door. The question arises: is this the life for which people continue their journey of moving from cities to metro cities with dreams? The answer would certainly be no. Because, while people certainly dream of economic progress, the interpretation of that dream does not include becoming deprived of human relationships and falling victim to loneliness and isolation. Priorities change in urban life; the abundance of problems and busy schedules begin to affect human relationships, and if materialism dominates, these relationships take on secondary importance.
For metro city dwellers, distance from relatives could have increased closeness with neighbours, but this generally happens very rarely. This depends very deeply on a person’s mindset. Certainly, those who value the blessing of human connections respect human values. However, those who view migration to metro cities as such a success that it completely changes their life from their previous life – in other words, are themselves ashamed of their previous traditions – create problems.
When Anabiya moved to Mumbai with her husband, she brought her mother-in-law along. When the woman (mother-in-law) who used to share joys and sorrows with her neighbours day and night, came to live in the city with her son and daughter-in-law, this house began to feel like a prison. Compelled by her sociable nature, she would longingly look at the neighbouring flat’s door in search of neighbours. When she expressed her desire to meet the neighbours to her daughter-in-law, Anabiya told her plainly that this is how one must live in the city; here there isn’t the custom of meeting and socialising with each other like in villages. When the mother expressed this desire to her son in a subdued voice, the son also silenced her by giving a long lecture on city customs and manners.
Now this woman is not willing to stay in the city. She wants to return to her home. The son doesn’t like the idea of her going back to live alone in the village, thinking what people will say about leaving mother alone in the village. This situation has made this woman prey to various illnesses, and gradually her mental health has also been affected. The son and daughter-in-law are also worried about her deteriorating health.
We generally see this situation in families where there is an ideological crisis, who consider migration to metro cities a complete transformation of their life and see cutting themselves off from their roots and traditions as progress. This trend appears to be transferring even more intensely to the new generation. Because of this, they themselves are affected, face difficulties, and burden themselves with such isolation socially that makes their lives difficult.
AbidaBano’s health is constantly poor, her financial situation is unstable, and she lives in an apartment in the city where the elevator breaks down repeatedly. Seeing her daily troubles, a well-wisher suggested she move to the first floor of this flat. Hearing this, she said she wanted the same, but her children say that this way people from the neighbourhood would come over daily on some pretext or another. The children don’t like anyone visiting or socialising. Whether it’s the children, the father, or the housewife herself, their so-called privacy is so dear to them that they don’t even like neighbours meeting and socialising. This self-centredness, loneliness, and isolation is not only making humans indifferent to society but gradually they become prey to mental stress, depression, and anxiety, and lose their physical health as well. The unravelling of the fabric of relationships is such damage to human society that is harming human society on multiple levels, and the only way to compensate for this is to correct these relationships.
Human Relationships are a Great Blessing
The circle of human relationships is vast and ever-expanding. Islam gives guidance for improvement in human relationships and making them more beneficial for human life. The Prophet’s instruction is: “Be a good neighbour to your neighbour, thus you will fulfil the requirement of Islam.” (Sunan Ibn Majah) Hazrat Ayesha narrates that the Prophet ﷺsaid: “Gabriel kept advising me about the neighbour, to the extent that I thought he would include them among the heirs.” This hadith highlightsthe importance of neighbour in Islam’s worldview. This also clarifies the reality that in human society, after family life, the second circle where humans learn to practise values is neighbourhood. This is the practical field where, after home, establishing relations with people with whom there is no blood or family relationship, maintaining them, and fulfilling their rights is a requirement of faith. This is not temporary work, nor emotional.
Neighbourhoods also keep changing. The first brick of relations with people on a social level is the relationship with neighbours. Better relations with neighbours make life easier. There is no doubt that when needed, those who reach first to help are the neighbours. The effects of our neighbours on the improvement or deterioration of our emotional, mental, and physical health cannot be denied. In daily life, it is the neighbours who stand shoulder to shoulder with their neighbours and, along with practical cooperation, take on the role of psychological protectors. They are an important source of our practical and emotional help, which are basic elements of health and well-being, and at the same time, a strong means of staying connected to society.
What Lies at the Heart of the Problem?
The trend of “my life, my choice” and excessive sense of privacy have affected relationships with neighbours. Among individuals moving to metro cities, common matters are fewer. Neither do they belong to one region, nor is their culture and lifestyle the same. On top of this, the hustle and bustle of business life, urban life problems – those who until yesterday had neither the problem of water drainage nor cramped living space – covering the distance from home to office and back home in the city’s chaotic traffic, it’s as if all the energy is drained. Upon reaching home, household problems come to greet them. Besides, the parking problem, loud music and song coming from the neighbourhood, and if, unfortunately, there’s a pet culture in the neighbourhood, it’s even worse.
Islamic teachings about neighbours not only solve these problems in a wise manner but also make pleasant the very reasons that have made lives difficult today. Hazrat Abu Hurairah narrates that Allah’s Messenger ﷺsaid: “He will not enter Paradise whose neighbour is not safe from his mischief.” (Muslim) On another occasion, he said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should be kind to his neighbour.” In the light of these teachings, there remains no room for indifference to the neighbour’s problems or creating an atmosphere of conflict based on their problems.
Negligence of Qur’anic and hadith guidance has given birth to countless problems on one hand and on the other the increasing trend of materialism has worsened the situation. The cramped living space and rising inflation have not left people with the ability to rent flats with parking facilities. People park their cars by roadside. If someone comes back from office early and parks his car at an empty space, the next day he won’t find the car safe – either the car’s tire will be punctured or its window will be broken. Later he comes to know that the neighbours have punished him for parking the car at that place. Look at this situation in the light of this hadith in which Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: “By God he is not a believer, by God he is not a believer, by God he is not a believer.” It was asked: “Who, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “That person from whose mischief his neighbours are not safe.” (Bukhari)
In villages, rural areas, and cities, there are possibilities that neighbours don’t change quickly. Living together for a long time, relationships among neighbours become stable. If neighbours treat each other well, a healthy relationship develops. If they are unaware of each other’s rights, there is constant conflict. But in the fast-paced life of metro cities, this relationship is rarely established. Rafia, a metro city resident, says that 32 families live in their apartment. She says: “Since I like social interaction, from the beginning I tried to meet everyone and still do today, but my experience shows that all people are not the same. But the initiative must come from us. We have very good relations with some. Some are such that if we encounter them face to face, greetings are exchanged, otherwise not even that, because they don’t like socialising with strangers.” There are security issues in metro cities, but the practice of presenting exaggerated tales of criminals through media has made people somewhat too suspicious. Therefore, some people prefer to maintain distance from others.
Naz, another metro city resident, says that people belonging to different regions maintain distance. When efforts were made to connect them, it was found that they were afraid of each other; there was hesitation in meeting due to regional differences. When this was removed, the relationships of these neighbours improved to a pleasant extent.
In the present era, there is also a trend of having a unique lifestyle which people have made a matter of their honour. This is a major obstacle in meeting people informally. Some have inferiority complex while some others suffer from superiority complex.
What is the Solution?
Islam has greatly emphasised the rights of neighbours. It wants to establish such an ideal society in which people live a life of love and affection with each other. Surah An-Nisa, verse 36 states: “Treat well the neighbour who is a relative, the neighbour who is a stranger, and the companion by your side.” This verse identifies three different types of neighbours and emphasises good treatment with each of them. A person generally has dealings with these three types of neighbours. In metro cities, the possibilities increase even more. Neighbours, strange neighbours, and companions by the side – all are available. Greeting strange neighbours, extending a helping hand, offering a seat to someone while travelling in a metro, walking, travelling in public transport – fulfilling their rights, offering someone a seat, or giving your seat to a woman or someone weak or elderly, or at least exchanging smiles with each other transforms our surroundings into a healthy environment. The Prophet’s instruction is: “Be good to your neighbour and you will attain the degree of faith.” (Tirmidhi). On another occasion, he said: “The best neighbour in Allah’s sight is he who is best to his neighbour.” (Tirmidhi)
Let us envision this scene: if people stuck in traffic for more than an hour going to and returning from office become those who scatter smiles and become merciful and compassionate to each other, how much happiness can be brought in this difficulty. Otherwise, anger at each other, abuse, office fatigue further increases frustration. This graph of misconduct increases even more when dealing with someone is weak.
Our neighbour Sharma ji has stopped driving the car for quite some days. When asked, he said that the domination of youth and those with money power has increased so much nowadays that he doesn’t have the strength to tolerate their rudeness.
Islam’s teaching is that whatever religion a neighbour belongs to, he is a neighbour and his rights are obligatory upon a Muslim. Once a goat was slaughtered at the house of Companion Abdullah bin Amr. He asked his household twice: “Have you sent a gift to our Jewish neighbour?” The difference in religion should not become an obstacle in the relationship of neighbourhood. The Holy Prophet’s instruction is: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should be kind to his neighbour.” (Bukhari)
The Prophet ﷺalso gave special attention to women regarding these relationships. His command is: “O Muslim women! No neighbour woman should consider any good deed to her neighbour woman as trivial, even if she has only a goat’s hoof to give her as a gift.” Checking on the neighbour, maintaining a kind attitude with them, participating in their happiness and sorrow, sending gifts are wise strategies to make relationships pleasant. In the last verse of Surah Al-Ma’un, withholding items of need is described as the worst moral quality. Regarding this, commentators believe that mention is made of those small things that neighbours borrow from each other to manage. Being miserly in giving such things is actually narrow-mindedness. Mutual give-and-take among neighbours, helping each other in need, is practically an effort to make relationships pleasant. Faith makes a person generous, and this generosity removes narrowness from hearts. Correction of the faith perspective corrects the mindset, and when this becomes correct and proper, regional diversity, cultural diversity, and differences in lifestyles become sources of strength for them. When each other’s experiences and observations, ways and methods add beautiful colours to life,human life becomes real joys.
[The writer is National Secretary, Jamaat-e-Islami Hind]