No human society can be conceived without the institution of family. Family structure, values, customs and codes may be different in different societies, communities and ages. The institution of family is essential for procreation, security and socialisation of human beings. How this institution is created? Essential requirement is multi-dimensional bond between a grown up male and female. This bond creates a relationship based on mutual consent, understanding, sharing responsibilities and some guiding values or codes for smooth living or resolving their differences. The values, customs and codes provide the foundation on which family structure is based. What are the sources of family values, customs and codes? They may be different in different societies like human experience, tradition, custom, religion, common sense, legislation – may be all or may be a combination of some. But it is clear that diversity is the common factor. Any effort to impose uniformity would ultimately lead to creation of another diversity.
Now let us take up the case study of Muslim family structure. As this community is diverse by sect, region, tradition, history and beliefs, these are reflected in family structures also. What elements are common and what are diverse and also what is the basis of commonality and what is the basis of diversity?
Nature of Marriage
Marriage is based on mutual consent to live a conjugal life and as such it contains the elements of contract. Marriage is based on gender complement and as such it contains the biological need of mutual satisfaction and procreation. Marriage is based on emotional unity and as such it contains moral and spiritual values. These three aspects, i.e. contractual, biological and moral/spiritual, are common among each and every Muslim family structure because these aspects are explicitly stated in the Quran which is treated by all Muslims as the divine source of their religion.
Cordiality
Each and every Muslim family structure recognises the two Quranic values of kindness and compassion as relational bond between husband and wife. These values overshadow the legalistic demands of rights and responsibilities between the couple.
Purity in Procreation
On account of biological nature of marriage, it is common among all Muslim family structures to protect the purity in procreation as per explicit Quranic instructions. Blood relationship stands basic in defining benefits and responsibilities in all Muslim groups.
Institutional Headship
On account of contractual relationship between husband and wife, the rights and duties of both the parties have been explained in legal terms in the Quran. It is common feature of all Muslim family structures that legally husband is the family head for running the institution in consultation with family members. As head, he has to shoulder the financial responsibilities of the family. Wife shall assist him in matters other than bearing the financial burden.
Resolution of Dispute
As per explicit Quranic guidance, dispute resolution through mutual discussion and extended family intervention for reconciliation are recognised as preferential method among all.
Dissolution of Marriage
All Muslim groups agree to the basic provisions of separation. It is also common among all that as Institutional head under contract, either the husband can declare termination of the relationship by his own free will or on demand by wife, he should declare the termination. If he denies, court may declare on valid reason. Diversity is there in details. In the matter of termination of marriage, there are two angles of understanding the Quranic guidance – one is to treat the right of husband as unconditional; the other is to treat the right effective only in conjunction with the procedural conditions prescribed in the Quran.
So far as diversity is concerned, there are many among Muslim groups. The sources of those diversities are mainly due to two reasons – one, due to differences in understanding the Quranic guidance and Sunnah and the other is due to ancestral traditions.
There is scope for arguments in favour or against the rationale of values, customs and codes on which a Muslim family structure is based. But it is quite clear that there are some common elements which are divine among all groups and as such religious in nature having no concern with other religious groups as in the case of criminal code. It is also clear that structure of family is not uniform in human society. If the essential parts of this structure are modified, it would become misfit in the basic nature of the family structure.