The Qur’an (4:4) states: “Give women their dower as a free gift (in good cheer); Then, if they give up some of it out of their own sweet will, you may have it to your advantage and pleasure.” Mehr, generally translated into English as ‘dower’ is an important right of a wife in Islam, which becomes the responsibility of the husband to pay, soon after the Nikah. A Nikah becomes invalid (Batil) if the couple foregoes the Mehr. In Islam, Nikah is a contract and Mehr is the name of the ‘right’ a wife gets from her husband and in which her mother or father has no say or share. Mehr is determined between husband and wife. No other family member can interfere in it. They can only give advice but the final decision is to be made by the bride.
Before Islam, guardians were entitled to receive it. Allah’s Messenger ﷺ eliminated this vicious practice. A hadith transmitted by Ali Ibn Abi Talib says: “Allah would forgive every sin but He would not forgive the person who has usurped the Mehr of his wife.” Islam considers marriage the union of two souls based on free choice. It requires that the Mehr be specified so that the woman can claim it as her own and it should be treated as an obligation that must be fulfilled. Islam further requires the husband to pay it willingly to his wife in the same manner as he gives her a gift. If subsequently, the woman decides, “of their own sweet will”, to give up part or all of her dower to her husband, she is free to do so without any sort of pressure whatsoever. In this case, the husband is free to accept what his wife willingly gives him.
GUIDELINES TO FIX THE MEHR
The fixing of an exorbitant amount of Mehr is a practice of our elite, corporate and less learned class. Today it is very difficult for a common man to earn his livelihood. There must be simplicity in all phases of life. The reasons for the fixation of excessive amounts of Mehr are: a girl whose Mehr is of a lesser amount, is less valued and secondly an excessive amount of Mehr is sort of protection and security against any eventualities. These approaches are incorrect. In Islam, the amount of Mehr, which a husband pays willingly and gladly, is alone the cause of love. A hadith says: “The best girls of my Ummah are those who are beautiful and whose Mehr is of fewer amounts.” This means that despite being beautiful, a lesser amount of Mehr is a sign of eminence and excellence of a woman.
MEHR-E-FATEMI
At the time of the marriage of Syeda Fatima, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ inquired from Ali as to what he has for the payment of Mehr of Fatima? Ali replied: “My financial condition is very well known to you. I have one armour, one sword, and one horse only.” The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Sword and horse are essential for Jihad, but the armour might be sold out to arrange for the payment of Mehr.” The armour of Ali was sold for 480 dirhams and payment of Mehr of Fatima was arranged.
A huge amount of Mehr often creates a conflict of motives and obstacles in marital life and this becomes a cause for a decrease in love and sincerity. The demand for a high amount of Mehr also discourages young men resulting in late marriages. Islam encourages the youngsters to enter into the wedlock as early as possible, so that the society may be saved from illegitimate sexual-association. Contrary to the teachings of Islam, people, today, proudly say that our daughter’s Mehr has been fixed in millions or billions. Such an excessive amount of Mehr is like sin without any pleasure.
MEHR: SIGN OF WOMAN’S DIGNITY
A Nikah is a contract in which a woman regards the other party as a husband in lieu of Mehr. Nikah is an essential requirement for male and female. It is a legal way to take benefits from each other. Abi Jafar Imam Mohammad al Baqir says: “Nikah is a contract according to which the husband would keep his wife with good manners, and whenever he terminates the contract of Nikah, he should so do with kindness.” Thus, it is our duty and the duty of the Muslim scholars that we should explain the importance and forcefully try to eliminate evil practices regarding Mehr. The woman and her relatives who demand lots of money as Mehr have been described as unlucky. The moral significance of Mehr is a symbol of man’s interest and love towards his wife which must not be overshadowed by its financial status. Mehr is a financial right of wife in Islam, which becomes the responsibility of the husband, immediately at the time of Nikah, even if it is not mentioned in the contract. The Qur’an says: “And give women their Mehr as a Gift.” (Ayah 4)
Mehr, according to Islam, is a sort of gift which a husband should offer to the wife as a token of love and loyalty. Islam has provided Mehr for the following few considerations: (a) Husband should pay Mehr to his wife according to his financial status, sincerely after Nikah. (b) It is the teaching of Islam that wife should not demand an exorbitant amount of Mehr, which is literally beyond the limit of her husband. (c) Immediately after Nikah, whatever has been fixed as Mehr becomes the property of the wife. If it is a piece of land, a house or a sum of money, its benefits accrue exclusively to her. Only with the wife’s consent, it can remain in the custody of the husband and the benefits accruing from it can be utilised for conducting their common life. (d) Mehr is a sign of honour, in consideration of women’s personality and independence, and not as her price to be paid to her. This Divine Gift conferred by the Qur’an, established woman’s economic independence since it is considered worthy of proprietorship.