He has prescribed for you the religion which He enjoined upon Nuh and which We revealed to you (O Muhammad), and which We enjoined upon Ibrahim and Musa and Isa, commanding: Establish this religion and do not split up regarding it. What you are calling to is very hard upon those who associate others with Allah in His Divinity. Allah chooses for Himself whomsoever He pleases and guides to Himself whoever penitently turns to Him. (Al-Qur’ān – 42:13)
A human can legitimately complain that he knows the right path but cannot do much when the world decides to ignore his earnest pleas, and insist upon treading the wrong one. But when he complains, not under any external duress, that he knows the right path, wants to follow the same but simply could not… this would be qualified as an illegitimate and unfounded grievance. Because a person enjoys all the freedoms and powers upon his own self. And if he actually ‘desires’… then he ‘can’… and if he couldn’t then there is something wrong and wanting in his ‘desire’. In other words, that desire, if it exists, needs to be reinforced with will-power and sincere prayers.
Human beings come alone in the world and go alone. Rich and poor, old and young, educated and illiterate, modern and traditional, intelligent and stupid, brave and timid, man and woman – all would be responsible for their deeds in their individual capacity. But… and this is quite a big but… in between this coming- and going-alone humans are social beings that love to live collectively. And family is the foundation of this collective living.
A human being enjoys greater freedom within the circle of his loved ones and can bring several positive changes if his intent is strong enough. While there are examples when the sincerest of efforts have not resulted in accomplishing the desired results like the wife and son of the Prophet Nuh (A), there is no denying the fact that the home and family is a citadel where a family member and especially elders enjoy greater autonomy to shape their lives and of those who are under their care. And hence a person is being held responsible and accountable for his efforts to guide his/her family onto the path of truth and success. The Qur’ān (66:6) says, “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.”
Everyone wishes to have a family that is soothing to the eyes and pleasing to the heart, that walks the path of truth and prove a blessing in this world and hereafter. Here, we are going to discuss a blessed family mentioned in the Qur’ān and points that may be learnt regarding what all efforts we need to put in. This is the household of Prophet Ibrahim (A).
ARE YOU AN IDEAL?
It is important that we become an ideal ourselves if we desire our loved ones to live a certain way. Our deeds, more than our words, teach our family and especially children. The Qur’ān (2:131) states that when commanded to submit, Prophet Ibrahim (A) proclaimed, “I have submitted to the Lord of the Universe.” This submission on our part is necessary if we want our families to submit to the divine guidance. Prophet Ibrahim (A) was the epitome of submission and obedience. In the bastion of idols and idol-worship, he intrepidly declared to his people, “Worship Allah and fear Him. That is best for you, if you should know.” (Al-Qur’ān – 29:16) He was adamant on the truth and did not budge even when he was thrown into the raging fire. (Al-Qur’ān – 21:68-70)
These virtues of immense faith and sublime obedience were duly imbibed by his wives and children. His wife Hajira (A), in the uninhibited and uncultivated valley where she was left with a suckling child, expressed utmost faith in Allah and told her parting husband, “Allah will not neglect us.” (Bukhari) His son Ismail (A), at the time when he was told about his father sacrificing him in a dream, told Prophet Ibrahim (A) firmly, “O my father, do as you are commanded. If Allah wills, You will find me steadfast.” (Al-Qur’ān 37:102)
DO YOU PRAY FOR YOUR FAMILY?
Prophet Ibrahim (A) was concerned about the well-being of his family and descendants. We see when Allah granted him the leadership of mankind, he immediately asked about the fate of his descendants. (See Al-Qur’ān – 2:124) The concern for the family is a must. This concern is also reflected in the prayers of human beings. Prayer is a human being’s conversation with Allah. When a person has sublime faith and sincerely wishes for something he asks from Allah. From the prayers of Prophet Ibrahim (A) we can gauge how important was a pious family to him. The wish to have an offspring is an instinctive wish but that instinct too is given a pious direction by Prophet Ibrahim (A) when he prayed, “My Lord, grant me [a child] from among the righteous.” (Al-Qur’ān – 37:100)
His sincere prayers were answered and he was blessed with prudent, forbearing and righteous sons like Ismail (A) and Ishaq (A). (See Al-Qur’ān 37:101,112) And then Allah granted him Yaqub (A), Dawood (A), Suleiman (A), Ayyub (A), Yusuf (A), Musa (A), Haroon (A), Zakariya (A), Yahya (A), Ilyas (A), and Isa (A) among his descendants. (See Al-Qur’ān 6:84-86, 21:72) And not to forget that the Benefactor of Mankind the seal of the prophets Hazrat Muhammadﷺ was from among his descendants for whom Prophet Ibrahim (A) had prayed. His prayers are mentioned in the Qur’ān (2:129) – “Our Lord! Raise up in the midst of our offspring a Messenger from among them who shall recite to them Your verses, and instruct them in the Book and in Wisdom, and purify their lives. Verily, You are the Most Mighty, the Most Wise.”
Prophet Ibrahim (A)’s prayers were not just prayers of a distressed childless person as we have seen that he prayed for righteous offspring. Likewise, his prayers were not of a thankless person that prays in need and then goes on to live as if the world were godless afterwards. Prophet Ibrahim (A) thanked Allah for the virtuous children that he had been blessed with: “Praise to Allah, who has granted to me in old age Ismail and Ishaq. Indeed, my Lord is the Hearer of supplication.” (Al-Qur’ān – 14:39)
A careful study of the Qur’ān also reveals that Prophet Ibrahim (A) constantly prayed for his family’s worldly and other-worldly success:
Our Lord! I have made some of my offspring settle in a barren valley near Your Sacred House! Our Lord! I did so that they may establish Prayer. So make the hearts of people affectionately inclined to them, and provide them with fruits for their sustenance that they might be grateful. (Al-Qur’ān – 14:37)
My Lord! Enable me and my offspring to establish Prayer, and do accept, our Lord, this prayer of mine. (Al-Qur’ān – 14:40)
Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents and the believers on the Day when the reckoning will take place. (Al-Qur’ān – 14:41)
We need to remember our family in our prayers and seek for them blessings of both the worlds.
DO YOU WORK TOGETHER?
Working together towards a positive and constructive goal is very important aspect of Tarbiyah and giving positive directions. In the Qur’ān (2:126-129), the father and son duo of Prophet Ibrahim (A) and Prophet Ismail (A) are seen working together to build Kaaba. While doing so they constantly invoked their Lord. Allah has made several of their prayers immortal by mentioning them in the Qur’ān. They prayed: “O my Lord! Make this a place of security and provide those of its people that believe in Allah and the Last Day with fruits for sustenance… Our Lord! Accept this from us; You are All-Hearing, All-Knowing. Our Lord! Make us submissive to You and make out of our descendants a community that submits itself to You, and show us the ways of Your worship, and turn to us in mercy. You are Much-Relenting, Most Compassionate. Our Lord! Raise up in the midst of our offspring a Messenger from among them who shall recite to them Your verses, and instruct them in the Book and in Wisdom, and purify their lives. Verily, You are the Most Mighty, the Most Wise.”
The families that spend time together have healthier and stronger bonds among themselves. If this time is spent in some constructive work then benefits are manifold. Knowing each other well makes it easier to support each other in times of emotional distress or moments of weaknesses that could be exploited by Satan in pulling one towards the path of gloom and ignominy.
DO YOU GUIDE YOUR FAMILY?
Motivation and guidance are essential at every stage of life. Prophet Ibrahim (A) guided his children on the right path: “My children! Behold, Allah has chosen this religion for you. Remain till death in submission (to Allah).” (Al-Qur’ān – 2:132) Expecting children to tread the right path without exerting oneself to guide them is wishful thinking. Prophet Ibrahim (A) was not a wishful thinker. The Qur’ān (43:28) bears witness that his teachings of dissociating with every other power and object of worship except Allah left an indelible mark on his progeny. They too taught their children the true path of life. Prophet Ismail (A) is specifically mentioned to instruct and enjoin Salat and Zakat upon his household. (Al-Quran 19: 55) This sense of responsibility ran in the family like blood. Every sincere soul felt duly accountable for those under their care. This sense of accountability was so extraordinary that at his deathbed, even after a lifetime of educating and training, Prophet Yaqub (A) could not withhold himself from asking his children: “Whom will you worship after me?” To which they reverently replied: “We shall worship your God, the God of your forefathers, Ibrahim, Ismail and Ishaq, the One God, and unto Him do we submit.” (Al-Quran 2:133)
This concern, sincerity, dedication and sense of accountability, beside Allah’s will, is key to achieve a pious and virtuous family where people follow the righteous path shown by their elders as Prophet Yusuf (A) says, “I have followed the religion of my fathers, Ibrahim, Ishaq and Yaqub. And it was not for us to associate anything with Allah. That is from the favour of Allah upon us and upon the people, but most of the people are not grateful.” (Al-Qur’ān – 12.38)
DO YOU REPRIMAND ON FAMILIAL WRONGDOINGS?
There are times when the going gets tough and one is truly tested with regards to the family. It happens especially if one of the loved ones goes astray. While the baser familial love entreats for compromise – live and let live – the higher and true familial love demands that no stone be left unturned in correcting the erroneous paradigm in thoughts and actions of a loved one. The already challenging task gets further intricate when the person in the wrong is an elder. Prophet Ibrahim (A) is an exemplar in this regard, too. His respect for his father and his relentlessness for the falsehood is magnificent.
Sometimes he asked questions to his father, “Do you take idols as deities?” (Al-Qur’ān – 6:74) “O my father, why do you worship that which does not hear and does not see and will not benefit you at all?” (Al-Qur’ān – 19:42) “What are these images to which you are devoutly clinging?” (Al-Qur’ān – 21:52) At other times he tried to reason that he had an immaculate source of knowledge and wisdom while his father was following blind traditions and whims and fancies. “O my father, indeed there has come to me of knowledge that which has not come to you, so follow me; I will guide you to an even path.” (Al-Qur’ān – 19:43) He declared that there is no god but Allah; He is the Almighty, The Creator of the universe and human beings, and the Lord of the worlds and He alone should be worshipped and His guidance must be obeyed. (See Al-Qur’ān – 21:56, 37:87,96)
When questions failed to direct him towards guidance and he along with his community refused to realise their ignorance then Prophet Ibrahim (A) did not fail to call out their manifest error and that of their forefathers. (See Al-Qur’ān – 6:74, 21:54) He pointed out that by refusing to follow the true path he was actually worshipping Satan and he must desist from doing so. (See Al-Qur’ān – 19:44) Prophet Ibrahim (A) also admonished his father from the punishment of Allah: “Father, I fear that a punishment from the Most Compassionate Lord might strike you and you may end up as one of Satan’s companions?” (Al-Qur’ān – 19:45)
He even prayed for forgiveness of his father: “Certainly I will ask forgiveness for you, although I have no power over Allah to obtain anything on your behalf.” (Al-Qur’ān – 60:4)
The example of Prophet Ibrahim (A) also tells us that love and obedience of Allah is above every other love and obedience… even the love of wife and child… even the obedience of father and king. On command of Allah he did neither hesitate in leaving his wife and suckling child in a barren land (See Al-Qur’ān – 14:37, 37:103-105) nor in leaving his father and country. (See Al-Qur’ān – 9:114, 19:48, 43:26-27)
Hope that we would imbibe these gems of prophetic wisdom into our lives and, with Allah’s grace, our families would become joy and comfort to our eyes and soothing to our hearts!