Many do not see anything good in marriage except sexual intercourse and the bearing of children, which they consider a mere disturbance, and wastage of time and money. Marriage is a socio-moral institution and serves as a moral safeguard that needs to be examined from the Islamic perspective.
Every human being is subordinate to nature and therefore cannot cheat it. Naturally, men and women respond to sexual demands. Males and females are naturally dependent on each other. Male requires the care and assistance of the female and vice-versa. Both depend on each other to satisfy their sexual demands. However, man is vulnerable to ruin if he doesn’t control his sexual behaviour. He may contract and transmit such dreadful sexual diseases as gonorrhoea and the Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS).
Sex is capable of impelling individuals, reckless of consequence while under its spell, toward behaviour which may imperil or disrupt the co-operative relationship upon which social life depends. One cannot completely deprive oneself of sex or abstain from it totally because of any ascetic reason. Male and female reproductive organs are created for some purposes which include sexual cohabitation. Complete abstinence from sex is not in harmony with human nature.
Modern clinical research and evidence indicate that excessive sexual deprivation produces personality maladjustments that hinder satisfactory relationships and endanger the mental health of society. To strike a balance in sexual behaviour, marriage is highly necessary for both the male and the female. Therefore, marriage in the perspective of Islam serves as a moral safeguard. It is the joining of man and woman to form a matrimonial home. It is contracted in customary, religious, and legal ways. All aimed at making the two parties become bonafide and legitimate marital partners. The two people so joined are recognised as husband and wife and they become the foundation of a legitimate family setup.
At its advent, Islam restricted permissible sexual relations to marriage. Subsequently, it made unlawful any sexual cohabitation outside marriage. The Islamic justification for marriage is informed by various injunctions from the Qur’ān and numerous Ahadith (traditions) of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ based on his practical life experiences. Family is the nucleus of any community. Islam recognises the position of a Muslim home as being very significant in nation-building. It recognises the value of sex, and therefore, it advocates marriage. Celibacy has no place in Islam.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was unequivocal about this as he declared that there is no celibacy in Islam. Even Allah describes celibacy as practised in some religions, as an innovation that has no divine backing. Therefore, if celibacy is not welcomed, marriage will be the only alternative and in Islam, it is not only a social practice but also a religious duty. The Prophet ﷺ has described marriage to women as part of his practices and declared that “whosoever turns away from his way of life is not part of him.” He also said: “The best among you is one who behaved best with his wife.”
Various Qur’ānic passages and traditions of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ have spelled out reasons why marriage is necessary for the life of any Muslim. It is difficult for a man to live in isolation without any other person around him with whom he shares his sorrows and joys. He needs somebody very close who will know his secrets and advise him whenever there is a need for that; who will console and calm him down at the period of distress: and rejoice and celebrate with him at the period of success.
Marriage also serves as an avenue for the realisation and establishment of the common origin of mankind. Human beings have a common origin, having the same ancestral identity and same blood relation. When this is realised, it will instil the spirit of love, fair play, generosity, trust, justice, sincerity, and tolerance in the mind of the spouses. Allah says: “O mankind! Reverence your Guardian-Lord, Who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, his mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women.” (The Qur’ān – 4:1)
Islam does not limit its principles to the worship aspect only but it is also very particular about the socio-moral life of the Muslims. Islam blends religious activities with good moral standards and piety. As mentioned above, the institution of marriage in Islam is among other things, to safeguard a Muslim from various immoral activities. A hungry man is an angry man. In the same vein, a sexually hungry person is a sexually angry person. That is to say, there is the tendency that a man or a woman, who is sexually pressed and has no marital partner, may lose his or her moral control by committing fornication. But if such a person is married, such an immoral act could be avoided. No wonder that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ advised thus: “O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances), and preserves one from immorality.” (Muslim)
Adultery and fornication are also products of a lack of sexual satisfaction between spouses. A man who does not enjoy sex with his wife or whose wife cannot satisfy his sexual demand due to her physical or psychological weaknesses may indulge in adultery, which is considered in all ideal societies a socio-moral evil. If such a man is allowed to take a second or third wife, as the case may be, such evil should have been averted. That is the sense in the Islamic concept of polygamy, instituted to take care of all socio-moral sexual malpractices.
Islam encourages marriage and asserts that ‘marriage is the half of religion’. A married man is considered responsible in society. Islam recognises the importance of family and thereby recommends good family background as one of the qualities a man may look for while choosing a woman for marriage. The sense in this is that it is the families that build a society. If the component families are good then the entire society will be good. Marriage is thus a reasonable and legal condition for raising a good family and for the building of a pure and peaceful society.
Many youths of marriageable ages hesitate in getting married because of the expenses associated with engagement ceremonies in some cultures and those to be incurred from the much-coveted flamboyant white-garment wedding ceremonies. The result is people continue to indulge in sexual promiscuity and thereby deteriorating morally. This, without a doubt, impacts negatively on the moral development of society.
Islam preaches moderation in everything. Marriage, as institutionalised in Islam, is to be conducted in a very simple and moderate manner. It requires offer and acceptance (ijāb wal-qubūl) from the would-be couples, consent of the wali (guardian of the bride), payment of mehr (mandatory gift given by the groom to the bride), and presence of two witnesses. These are the essentials of marriage as stipulated by Islam.
There is no harm in publicising marriage and arranging for a feast if there is the ability to do so, however, it has to be done with caution to avoid extravagance. Marriage provides spiritual, physical, emotional, and psychological companionship. This companionship generates and sustains love, kindness, compassion, confidence, solace, and succour (sakinah). It lays a spiritual and legal foundation for raising a family. The children born of the matrimonial union become legitimate and mutual rights of inheritance are established.