Live-in relationship is neither a crime nor a sin, the Supreme Court has held while asking Parliament to frame law for protection of women in such relationship and children born out of it. But it is still socially unacceptable in the country. It is a judgement which thrashed the sacred relationship of marriage. A relationship which has obtained a legal sanction in order to avoid all obligations and to enjoy the benefit of living together, the concept of live-in relations has come into picture. Unlike marriage, it provides for a life free from responsibility and commitment.
People indulge in a live-in relationship in order to save money, to follow the popular culture and to be trendy, to avoid marriage expenses, to avoid financial hardship during divorces, to test relationships and to change partners easily, to gain sexual pleasure without any responsibility, to avoid any legal implications while separating, when law does not permit (in case of a polygamist or inter-religion marriage), to avoid taxes, because they don’t believe in marriage, etc.
The laws by the American Government have instigated and motivated people to enter into a live-in relationship. In America where a boy and a girl get married and when both are working, they will have to shell down more taxes to the Government when compared to the people who are living together in one room or house. This law is termed as “marriage penalty”. There is a system where people get income benefit called “EITC” (Earned Income Tax Credit) which is the wage supplement for low income workers, but when people get married, they will not be eligible to EITC benefit. Thus they are indirectly forced by the Government to indulge in live-in relationship as they can save some money.
In 1978, Senate GOP leader, Trent Lot decided to pull a bill to abolish “marriage penalty” but he failed to do so. Until 1970, live-in relationship was considered illegal, then why did they legalise it? Did they get any commandment from God to legalise it? But still in three states of America, Mississippi, Florida and Michigan live-in relationship is considered to be illegal.
The statistics shows that in 2007, 16.4 million households were maintained by people who are indulged in live-in relationship. In Latin America 55%– 74% babies are born outside the wedlock and 2/3 of the Americans are in live-in relationship. In Britain half of the babies born are born outside the wedlock. In 2011 statistics stated that 47.3% of the babies born in the UK were born outside the wedlock. In 2012, 51.3% of the babies born in Scotland were born outside the wedlock. 22% of Australia’s population is in live-in relationship. And the least percentage of live-in relationship is practised in the Middle East where Islam is practised.
Bollywood movies have played a very significant role in promoting live-in relationship, especially in India. Mainly six movies have contributed significantly to promote the grave culture of live-in relationship. It all began with the movie Salaam Namaste, which was released in 2005, was probably the first Bollywood film that put so much stress on the arrangements of live-in relationships and was a turning point in Bollywood history as the movie boldly featured live-in relationship between Saif Ali Khan and Preity Zinta, where both of them started living-in together not out of love, but out of convenience and inevitably fall in love. The movie also faced criticism on its release. Then came Wake up Sid, which was released in 2009, showing Ranbir Kapoor in a live-in relationship with a slightly older woman. Then came Pyar Ka Punchnama, which was released in 2011; it is a movie about love, relationships and of course, live-in relationships. The story revolves around a group of carefree youth who live together in a rented flat until one of them moves out to live with his girlfriend.
Cocktail, which was released in 2012, is another movie which is based on casual love. It is a movie which shows live-in relationship with a boy, a girl and her friend. The film probes about the mindset of typical Indian families towards bold and liberated women. However, at the end of the day, it does explore the dynamics of how three people fall in and out of love when they live together.
I, Me aur Main, released in March 2013, is a movie which revolves around a charismatic bachelor who is commitment phobic and is not ready to take the responsibility of his pregnant girlfriend. The film explores the concept of commitment.
The latest to join the bandwagon is, Shuddh Desi Romance, which was released in September 2013, featuring Sushant Singh Rajput and Parineeti Chopra. This is a humorous film which ultimately brings up live-in relationship as the practical solution for busy couples who do not get time for each other.
All these movies are made in the name of entertainment but they fail to realise the negative impact which it is creating and the damage which it is causing to the society. What will the youth learn from such movies is the million dollar question?
In a new ad by “All New Channel V” claims that in a live-in relationship ‘we can share everything, so that you don’t get caught in a compromising position’. What sort of logic is this? They also have a statement on their website which reads, “What feels so right, can’t be wrong!”
An article in The Times of India claimed that live-in relationship has witnessed a sharp rise in cases of discord in live-in relationships. Most cases reported are those of people working in the software and BPO industries. “The number of cases of break-up in live-in relationships was 30 during 2011-12; it raised to 42 between April 2012 and March 2013. With an average of six cases reported every month, the number is expected to double this year,” says Rani Shetty, chief coordinator with Mahila Sahaya Vani, a family counselling centre attached to police.
Recently a court sentenced an MBA student, convicted of raping his live-in partner several times after promising to marry her, to seven years jail. He was slapped a fine of Rs. 5,000. Recommending appropriate compensation can be awarded to the victim, the court has directed the secretary of the Delhi Legal Service Authority to decide the quantum of compensation. Why all the mellow drama when it could be curbed at the initial stages itself?
We are trying to imitate the western world but we fail to realise that they are dying their own death. In many aspects, India lands up imitating the west without realising the ill effects. All the popular culture which is creeping in the Indian society is borrowed from the western world. This current social system of America looks very attractive and glittering but when we go deep into it, we will realise that it is just hollow inside and they are in serious trouble. Because of live-in relationship the marriage rate and birth rate are coming down drastically. The Americans are cutting the branch, which they are sitting on. They are hitting the hammer with their own hand. As Muqaddimah Ibn Khaldun rightly said, “Each dynasty has within itself the seeds of its own downfall.” America has already witnessed its economic collapse and the social collapse is not very far. When people have an alternative before them, where they can enjoy and satisfy their needs without any responsibility, people go in for it. The situation is similar with other western countries as well.
The fundamental institution of human society is the family unit. The fundamental pillars of a successful society are husband and wife and their contact brings into existence a new generation. This then produces ties of kinship and community, which in turn, gradually develop further ties. The family is an instrument of continuity which prepares the succeeding generation to serve human civilization and to discharge its social obligations with devotion, sincerity and enthusiasm. If this relationship does not exist then the whole social system will collapse sooner or later and live-in relationship is the first step on the ladder.
Live-in relationship is not going to be the end; it is going to be followed by DINKS (Dual Income – No Kids), Friendship for Lust, One night stand and Homosexuality. Thus this emerging culture should be stopped at this stage itself or else it will spread its roots much deeper and become stronger day by day.
Therefore, Islam devotes much attention to the issues relating to the family and strives to establish it on the healthiest and strongest possible foundations. We need to establish a social system as per the divine guidance, which is very much necessary so as to have a strong, happy and successful country. According to Islam, the correct relationship between man and woman is marriage, a relationship in which people are socially responsible as husband and wife. Islam wants to make marriage the easiest and fornication the most difficult thing in society and not vice versa as it is prevailing in most of the societies today.