Model Marriage, Semi-Model Cop

Talking for long hours on the cell-phone; a Sunday dinner outing every week; being shy of wearing spaghetti-strap blouse – what is extraordinary about it all?

Written by

AUSAF

Published on

June 23, 2022

Talking for long hours on the cell-phone; a Sunday dinner outing every week; being shy of wearing spaghetti-strap blouse – what is extraordinary about it all?

These are the reasons for divorce, trotted out in petitions in the family courts of Mumbai. More than 500 applicants, with similar reasons, rush to family courts every month there. Till now I had been of the view that divorce is a subject more serious than marriage. Should I correct myself now?

Another dimension of the divorce petitions in Mumbai is: only during the festival season – from Ganesh Chaturthi to Diwali – there is slight decline in the number of cases filed. Otherwise 40 cases a day are registered.

But our National Capital, New Delhi is far ahead of Mumbai in this regard too. It is semi-officially described as divorce capital of India. It receives more than 7,500 divorce petitions every year. Mumbai only 6,500 and Bangalore only 5,000. National Capital is National Capital after all!

In August last, a woman Qazi created history when she solemnised a “Nikah’’ at Lucknow between Mr. Imran Naeem and Miss Naesh Hassan. She is the founder of “Bhartiya Muslim Mahila Andolan’’. Four women stood up as witnesses when “vows were exchanged.” This is what the 300-word story said.

Which and what vows? This columnist is the least experienced in this regard as till date I have been made bridegroom only once. Only the “Bhartiya Muslim Mahila Andolan’’ seems to be competent to speak authentically on the tricky subject.

Another question that goes un-answered is in which period the divorce petitions are least forwarded by the intending “separatists’’? Reports from Delhi are silent on the subject. So does Lucknow. May be it is Moharram over there!

One subject I hate to touch is same-sex. At the risk of a slight digression, I recall once Saadat Hassan Manto was asked why he did not write in Punjabi while his family language was Punjabi? He replied coolly; I am incapable of writing abuse.

To me writing on homosexuality amounts to dealing with pornography. Besides Allah, I fear my wife and Editor too.

But our Union Health Minister, Mr. Ambumani Romdoss is sufficiently shameless to plead the profanity’s case. What has provoked me to write is the Central Government’s plea to the Delhi High Court, which had, despite the Minister’s periodic yapping on the filth, asked for clarification. The official clarification was: Do not consider Mr. Romdoss’s views on legalising gay sex among consenting adults. Section 377 of the IPC was “the will of Parliament and the people…Your Lordships can ignore the statements of the Minister… his statements cannot change the law.’’

The point is: why and who made Mr. Romdoss a Minister? A medium-powered, Commission should be set up to look into the question. Secondly, what sort of government is our Government whose Minister’s indecent thinking remained a state-secret for so long.  And thirdly, is or is not, cohesion an essential ingredient of governance?

The police personnel are an important part of effective governance. In the performance of their tough duties their tougher language does help them much. Piety is, and should be, alien to a model police officer. Swagger and piety do not go together. An un-printable language adds to a police officer’s upkeep.

Mumbai ‘s Joint Commissioner, Mr. K.I. Prasad is, by all standards, a semi-perfect police officer. By the way Ms Kiran Bedi was one ahead of him. Mr. Prasad warned the ebullient Mr. Raj Thackeray the other day: “Mumbai kisi key baap ki nahin hai’’ or “Mumbai is not the property of anyone’s father’’. Lacking in force, it is a too polite expression ever used by any ideal policeman. It left much to be desired.