Haya has been variously translated as modesty, diffidence, timidity, bashfulness, shame or inhibition. However, it is much more than that. It is an unquestionably positive quality that stems from a strong sense of self-respect and Taqwa (consciousness/acute awareness of Allah). It enables one to shy away from the very idea of doing a deed that is displeasing to the sight of Allah, who is Subtle, All-Aware, whether in public or private.
Modesty or shyness plays a special part between the affairs of the Creator and the created. All Prophets and Messengers encouraged modesty, as the Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be to him), said:
“Indeed from the teachings of the first prophets which have reached you is, ‘If you do not have shyness, then do as you please’.” (Al-Bukhari)
Islamic ethics consider modesty as more than just a question of how a person dresses, and more than just modesty in front of people; rather it is reflected in a Muslim’s speech, dress, and conduct: in public in regard to people, and in private in regard to Allah the Exalted. Any talk of modesty, therefore, must begin with the heart, the Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be to him) said, “Modesty is part of faith” and that part of faith must lie in the heart.
We must feel shy in front of Allah the Exalted and His creation, since Allah knows and sees everything. We must feel shy to disobey our Lord and feel shame if we sin or act inappropriately, whether in private or public. This type of modesty is acquired and is directly related to one’s faith, where one’s awareness of Allah increases one’s “shyness” in front of Him.
Islamic morality divides modesty into natural and acquired. Modesty is a quality inherent in girls and boys, a certain type of modesty that is natural in human beings. It manifests itself, for instance, in a natural human urge to cover one’s private parts. According to the Qur’ān, when Adam and Eve ate from the fruit of the forbidden tree, they became aware that their private parts were exposed, and they began to cover themselves with the leaves of Paradise, a natural result of their modesty.
Modesty is a quality that distinguishes human beings from animals. Animals follow their instincts without feeling any shame or a sense of right or wrong. Hence, the less modesty a person has, the more he resembles animals. The more modesty a person has, the closer he is to being human. Islam has mandated certain legislations which induce this sense of modesty within humans. These legislations range from seeking permission before entering any room and distancing one from others while relieving oneself, to mandating certain manners of dress for men and women alike.
Being shy of a stranger’s gaze is one of the driving forces behind modesty in dress. In Islam, screening most of your body off from the gaze of a stranger, especially of the opposite sex, is actually mandated as a means to avoid falling into conduct that may lead to extra-marital or pre-marital sex. Allah says,
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their chests, and not to reveal their adornment….” (Surah 24 – An-Noor – Ayat 30-31).
As seen from this ayah, Islamic ethics view modesty not as a virtue for women only, but for men as well. Thus, men must also dress modestly, being careful to wear loose flowing and opaque clothes through which the area between their waist and knees is totally covered. Tight pants or translucent clothing is prohibited.
It may still seem, however, that women bear the main brunt of ‘dressing modestly’. When one reflects, however, about the predator and the prey in illegal relations between the sexes; the prey which is hidden escapes being a victim. Besides, another ayah says modesty in dress actually identifies one as being a believing woman, a ‘target’ which the devout Muslim, or any decent man, would be motivated to protect rather than abuse.
The way to develop modesty is to think about whether he or she would do the sin they are contemplating in front of their parents. A person with a slice of shame in their heart will not commit any lewd act in front of their parents. So what about doing so in front of Allah the Exalted? Isn’t Allah much worthier that such acts not be done in His sight? Thus, Islam considers that the modesty of a believer in front of Allah must be greater than in front of people. The Prophet responded:
“Allah is more deserving than other people of shyness.” (Abu Dawood)
Early Muslims used to say, “Be shy toward Allah when you are in private in the same way you are shy in front of people when you are in public.”
Another one of their sayings is, “Do not be a devoted slave of Allah in your public behaviour while you are an enemy to Him in your private affairs.”
Modesty can therefore be seen as the means with which morals and ethics in society are maintained and pursued. Shyness from people and society may be a reason to be modest, but this modesty will not remain due to the fact that what is immodest one day in a secular society may be totally acceptable in another. Thus, the key to modesty is to believe that Allah is aware of what we do and shying away from that which He forbids. Allah only desires what is best for us. So to seek what is best for us is to submit to what Allah and His Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be to him) demand of us. The Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be to him) said, “Every Deen (way of life) has an innate character, a distinct call, and the call of Islam is Haya.” (Abu Dawood). It is to our benefit to work out the best way to respond to that call, before we fall into error and misguidance.
In a nutshell, We, Muslims need to understand that besides the mandatory obligations of the religion Islam, we also need to understand and incorporate other elements mentioned in the traditions of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be to him). Therefore, we need to understand that modesty is our identity and one of the integral components of Islam. A Muslim should incorporate modesty into his or her character and it should be practised in every matter of life. This makes us distinct from the non-believers – the way they dress and carry themselves. If, we are modest we stand out in the crowd and it may lead others – even non-believers – to adopt the attire of modesty.
Let me conclude this article in support of my last sentence. My daughter’s non-Muslim friend, who runs her shop in our society and often comes to our residence, always covers herself fully before coming in front of us though that is not the way she carries herself in her normal life.
Therefore, if we live our lives with modesty in all its aspects – Allah will be pleased with us and people’s eyes would reflect their love, affection, respect and appreciation for us, otherwise people will stare at us, exposing their animal instinct and lust only. The choice is ours.