By all standards, The Hindu is a great newspaper. Brought out from 13 cities, the English daily has set up higher standards of journalism. Impartiality is its hallmark. It is fair even to its foes. Its analysis and criticism are constructive. There is no rancour, usually found in Editors and Mothers-in-Law. This healthy tradition dates back to the days of the late lamented, Mr Kasturi Ranga Iyengar and his illustrious son Mr Kasturi Srinivasan. But once in the 1940s a hilarious faux pas caused utter embarrassment to the eminent paper.
In public meetings there were, understandably, dog-fights between the Congress-inclined Muslims and the Muslim Leaguers. Any stick was good enough to beat each other with. Hitting below the belt was not prohibited. The frustrated Congressmen wanted the activists of the League to bite the dust. And vice-versa. In this surcharged backdrop – there happened to be no Muslim on the staff of The Hindu at that time – one party got published a big advertisement in the daily that asked the people to attend a mammoth public meeting at such and such Maidan, that will be addressed by two luminaries, Maulana Waladuzzina and Maulana Waladul Haraam.
The organisers had made full payment at the time of booking and there was no reason to deny the space to an upcoming political party. The next day, The Hindu, it is alleged, had full fledged advertisement at a prominent page at a prominent place. You can imagine what would have happened in the family newspaper and the parties concerned. Since that day, it is said The Hindu proprietors and Editor, decided to have Muslims on their staff.
This brings us to the question what qualities should rather must have an ideal Editor and a model Mother-in-Law?
The truth is I don’t know.
My first Editor-Mother-in-Law was Mr A A Ravoof, a suave, soft-spoken gentleman from Ambur. The too-hot and too-cold Delhi was a problem for him. Add to it its too spicy food. Further add the infarction in his heart.
One day, when it was freezing cold, I brought a set of cotton trousers for him. After he had put it on, I asked him Sir! How do you feel now? Pat came the reply: Thank you Mr Ausaf. Everything in its place!
My second Editor-Mother-in-Law was Mr Yousuf Siddiqui, who happened to be the Managing-Director of the Radiance Viewsweekly also. Once he asked me to do an opinion piece on a certain subject. I did it. When he entered the office at around 11:30 am, I handed over the manuscript to him to prove how efficient I was. He had a glance at it and in no time it was rejected. We had lunch together, which was quite sumptuous. When we were about to leave the dining table, I, like an obedient daughter-in-law, submitted: Sir: If considered sympathetically, my piece done a short while ago is not that bad! “Yes: Bring it to me,” he said. After a second look at it, he announced: A hungry man is an angry man. Never in future… The article was “yessed”. On another occasion he refused to despatch the Weekly without the Radiations column. Thereafter, I could never disobey him.
My third Editor Mother-in-Law was Mr Ameenul Hasan Rizvi. Till date I have not been able to decide whether he was a great Editor or a greater Mother-in-Law. Perhaps he had the finest qualities of both, a rare combination.
My fourth Editor-Mother-in-law was Mr Syed Yusuf who was courtesy incarnate, loving, considerate and ever-forgiving.
My fifth Editor-Mother-in-law is Mr Ejaz Ahmed Aslam. The other day I asked him to let me proceed on two months leave as my typist would return from Karachi after Eid-ul- Fitr. His response was: Shut up. No way! The question of leave does not arise. Not only that. Your columns would henceforth come to me in the form of E-mails. No hard copy. Your handwriting is worse than that of Mahatma Gandhi. It took six hours for me to dictate what you had written last week. Are you listening? I had no alternative to listening. Now you listen:
Did you hear about the Mother-in-Law who complimented her daughter’s husband?
She called him a perfect idiot.
Do you know behind every successful journalist stands a surprised mother-in-law?