O’ Mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, honourable of you with Allah is that [believer] who has the most Taqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious).” (The Qur’ān – 49:13)
What is a strong family system and why do we need one?
An impenetrable family system is one that most explicitly follows the Shari’ah, and adheres to the teachings of the Qur’ān and Sunnah. Islam is both religion and society and the most fundamental unit of the society is family.
The strength of an Islamic society is directly related to the condition of its family system, making the fulfilment of familial rights and obligations not merely the responsibility of family members but of concern to the rest of society, especially in the event of violation or abuse of those rights and responsibilities.
In the book ‘Civilization of Faith’, Dr. Mustafa as-Sibaa’ie writes, “… those who have written about the history of civilization define civilization as a social system which helps man to increase his cultural outputs. Civilization consists of four main elements: economical resources, political systems, moral traditions, science, and arts…. The collapse of a civilization stems from factors which are the opposite of those which lead to its rise and development; the most important of these destructive factors include moral and intellectual decadence, lawlessness, and breakdown of social systems….” among other things. A weak family system will inevitably lead to a weak society and a weak state.
A hallmark of civilization is that human behaviour has always been subject to rules and regulations because social life would be inconceivable otherwise.
According to British sociologist Leonard Hobhouse, “In no part of the world, and at no period of time do we find the behaviour of men left to unchartered freedom.” This is particularly applicable to sexual behaviour since sexual desire is capable of impelling individuals, ignorant of consequences while under its spell, toward behaviour, which may disrupt the cooperative relationships upon which social life depends. Islam outlines some airtight parameters to control and regulate desire and instituting marriage and family system is one of them.
Obstacles in the way of family system
Ibn Umar reported that the Prophet ﷺ said: “There are three whom Allah will deprive of Paradise: the one who drinks intoxicants, the one who is disobedient to his parents, and the one who accepts immoral conduct on the part of his family.” (Ahmad)
Alcoholism, unregulated desires
“Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), gambling, al-ansaab (stone altars for sacrifices to idols, etc.) and al-azlaam (arrows for seeking luck or decision) are an abomination of Shaytaan’s handiwork. So avoid (strictly) all that (abomination) in order that you may be successful.” (The Qur’ān – 5:90)
The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that roughly 55% of domestic abuse perpetrators were drinking alcohol prior to assault. Women who are abused are 15 times more likely to abuse alcohol. A dependency on drugs and alcohol is a clear prioritising of satisfying personal desire over collective wellbeing. It is choosing an unhealthy and impermissible way of life over paying heed to the development and wellbeing of one’s family. It leads to nurturing the addiction while neglecting important familial duties. It opens the door to other un-Islamic actions, violence and disorderly conduct quite often resulting in legal troubles owing to reckless decisions made while under the influence.
The effect of parental alcoholism in children is debilitating, ranging from either normalisation of alcoholism or to mental health disorders like depression, anxiety and/ or poor emotional and spiritual development.
Moreover, the Prophet ﷺ cursed every kind of person associated with dealing in drugs and alcohol including one who makes it, one who uses it, one who carries it, one who sells it, uses its money and more, thus signifying the degree of its danger to society.
Homosexuality
“And (remember) Lut, when he said to his people: ‘You commit al–faahishah (sodomy-the worst sin) which none has preceded you in (committing) among the ‘aalameen (mankind and jinns). Verily, you commit sodomy with men, and rob the wayfarer, and practise al-munkar (disbelief, polytheism and every kind of evil deed) in your meetings.’” (The Qur’ān – 29: 28-29)
The issue of LGBTQ+ rights has become a matter of great contention in recent years, not only in Indian society but also all over the world. India most recently witnessed the decriminalisation of homosexuality by the annulment of Section 377 of the Constitution.
From an Islamic perspective, the LGBTQ issue is not one question but several distinct ones. Islamic scholarship makes a clear distinction between same-sex attraction and actual sexual activity.
Whether a desire or attraction is ‘natural’ or not, whether a person is born with that inclination or not, is irrelevant in the Shari’ah. If certain actions are prohibited, whether or not one desires them is inconsequential from a legal perspective. There is however no doubt that same-sex sexual acts, in particular sodomy, have been, and remain, categorically prohibited in Islam, not only because of its inherent immorality but because it is a disruption to the furthering of society and civilization.
Ibn Mas’ud narrated that the Holy Prophet ﷺ said: Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for this keeps your eyes from gazing at other women and also protects you from immorality. Those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, which will help control their desires. (Bukhari, Muslim)
Free mixing of the genders
“Tell believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and to protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.” (The Qur’ān – 24:30)
Unchecked or unregulated social interactions between men and women outside the scope of Islamic teachings open the door for illegitimate relationships. The overwhelming movement against sexual assault and abuse of power in the workplace especially during 2017-18 made the case for the need for universally enforceable boundaries between men and women even stronger.
Although Muslims should unequivocally practise the principles of segregation, in modern society occasions of free mixing are at times unavoidable, whether it is the workplace, educational institutions or even social gatherings. For such circumstances, Islam provides explicit guidelines for any interaction between the genders. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “No man is alone with a (non-mahram) woman, but that Shaytaan will be the third among them,” and even forbade physical interactions like handshakes between non-mahram men and women.
Responsibility of Muslims
Alcohol consumption, same sex relations and unsegregated gatherings are unfortunately some of the most widely accepted and normalised themes in pop culture and mainstream media. It is thus the responsibility of Muslims to uphold Islamic values despite cultural social norms in order to honour the prescribed way of life and ensure the integrity and stability of society.
Just like how immorality is the ultimate threat to civilization, morality is the antidote. In the words of Maulana Maududi in West versus Islam, “The most effective means to maintain spiritual and moral wellbeing of a nation is to develop in each and every individual a deep sense of conviction and ethical sensitivity, which the Holy Prophet ﷺ puts in a single word Hayaa i.e. modesty.”