Family is the basic social institution that plays an important role in preparing individuals and shaping their potential to fulfil the purpose of their creation. It is the place where humans live in peace and harmony with cooperation of other members and get utmost contentment and satisfaction. It is thus a significant part in the system of life ordained by Islam. A distinct feature of family in Islam is that it is “a Divinely-inspired and ordained institution not evolved through human experimentation involving a process of trial and error spread over time.” (K. Ahmad)
It emerged with the creation of man to live with tranquillity, love and mercy and lead life according to the commandments of the Lord. This is the greatness of Allah that He bestows innumerable bounties upon humans and provides them with congenial atmosphere and comfort to live with serenity. The Qur’ān says:
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily that are the Signs for those who reflect. (30: 21)
Family as a social institution, from an Islamic perspective, is based upon the doctrine of Tawḥīd, the cardinal principle of Islam. It indicates that Allah is the only Reality, the Most High, Most Great. (Qur’ān, 31:30) He is the sole self-sustaining, all pervading, eternal and Absolute Reality. (Qur’ān, 2: 115; 6: 162). He is the Creator, the Master and the Sustainer of all that exist between the heaven and the earth. He created the universe and things that lie in it. All objects within the universe, animate and inanimate, work according to His plan and perform the functions allocated to them. He created man, exalted him as His vicegerent and equipped him with superior qualities to perform the special task of vicegerent.
Allah has not created the world for an idle sport but for a distinct purpose that is to surrender to His will. The Qur’ān declares that “to each is a goal to which Allah turns him” and “that to thy Lord is the final goal”. The purpose of human life is to accept His sovereignty and suzerainty and manifest them in thought and action, follow His guidance and lead a virtuous and righteous life as He commanded. It is said, “He may reward with justice those who believe and work righteousness; but those who reject Him will have draughts of boiling fluids and a penalty grievous, because they did reject Him.” (Qur’ān 10: 4).
FAMILY AND ALLIED INSTITUTION
Family and its allied institution, marriage, are planned and structured to provide humans with a congenial atmosphere for obeying the Lord, following the right path shown by Him and facilitating the performance of what is proper, just and righteous. The success of man and woman both is to do virtuous acts, submit to the Will of the Lord and obey Him and His messenger. Family, in this respect, is the union of self, spouse, children, servant and the immediate ascendants and/ or descendants.
In a family organisation, the most tender, affectionate and compassionate relation is between husband and wife. It gives strength, security and contentment to each other and enables them to do the job ahead of them affectively. Even a slight squabble and dissension in their relations affect their mind and heart, damage their personalities and disturb family-ties. It is thus necessary that the relations remain compassionate, solicitous and according to the Divine instructions to make family function smoothly and give stability to society.
The most important ingredient of family in Islam is the sacred bond which the inmates, men and women, share to be devout servants of Allah. This bond is more precious than the blood and marital ties. In Islamic doctrine, humans have two significant obligations; one is towards the Creator and the other towards fellow human beings. The structure of human relationship depends upon the obligation towards the Creator. The relation between the members within the family as well as other fellow human beings depends upon and guided by their relation with the Creator. This is the foundation of the Islamic social system which establishes a pattern of social relations according to which the family works and creates such a situation wherein members could establish cordial relations with each other according to the Divine instruction revealed by Allah as well as to the precept of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him).
This relation is based on love, sympathy, understanding and overall on seeking the pleasure of Allah. This pattern of relation enables the family to function smoothly, gives mental and emotional satisfaction to its members and at the same time provides strength and energy for them to perform their role as the obedient servants and the vicegerents of Allah to the best possible way. When the members deviate from the established path, work to satisfy their whims and urge of their egos, they disturb the pattern of the family, create conflict, tension and abnormal situation.
In this conflicting and abnormal situation, it is necessary to resolve the conflict, settle the incompatibility of the relations and put them on the right path. The provision of divorce is to resolve the conflicting situation, to restore the damaged personalities of the couple and to put the family on the right path to perform the essential functions for which it has come into existence.
The family is organised to perform some essential functions for the survival, integrity, solidarity and continuity of human race and the system of life considered appropriate, just and right. Thus, the first function which the family performs is the procreation of offspring and training them as potential persons to establish the Divine system on earth. It provides an opportunity to satisfy the physiological need in a dignified way and get peace of mind in the company of the spouse and children. It is the bounty of the Lord that He provides humans with spouse of the like nature and from them spread many men and women. (Qur’ān, 4: 1)
Secondly, the family maintains and preserves moral standard of physical relationship and living together. Sexual urge is a natural phenomenon but, in Islam it can only be satisfied with one’s spouse and not with any other person. Extra-marital relation is a serious sin for which severe punishment is prescribed.
Thirdly, the family develops love and affection not only with spouses but also with children and other members who give emotional satisfaction, psychological stability and happiness to humans who get inner strength of mind and heart.
Fourthly, the family socialises the children and transforms the man of flesh and blood into a devout servant of Allah and a social man in the true sense. It acquaints the young persons with the ideological heritage and makes them potential to carry the torch of goodness and righteousness.
Lastly, the family provides social and economic security for its members. In case of any calamity and misery, the family gives the members concerned moral and material support to face the odd situation boldly and come out of it with flying colours.
MARRIAGE
A happy and peaceful home, a virtuous and committed family and an exuberant, elated and euphoric life depend upon congenial, compassionate, compatible and companionable relation between husband and wife. Islam takes many precautions and impresses upon persons concerned to establish good, cordial relations based on God-fearing and God-conscious attitude. It lays down certain rules to select spouse. There are various reasons based on which people, generally, select their spouses. Islam enjoins its followers to select spouses on moral and religious ground and character of the person. The obvious reason is that a righteous and God-fearing person inspires the other party to abide by the Islamic norms and follow a righteous life.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) instructed:
A woman may be chosen for her wealth, or for her beauty, or for her nobility or for her religion. So choose a religious woman and hold fast to her. . .
Marriage is solemnised to lead a good, moral, virtuous and righteous life. Husband and wife both are responsible for this noble act. Thus, they have to work together and help each other to achieve this end. They are, in fact, dependent on each other and protectors of each other’s interests. The Qur’ān says that they are the garments of each other. It means that they safeguard the dignity of each other and not supposed to do an act that damages their stature as humble servants of Allah. The Qur’ān clearly states:
The believers, men and women, are protectors, one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practise regular charity and obey Allah and His messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise. (9: 71)
Such persons deserve rewards from Allah.
Allah hath promised to believers – men and women – gardens under which rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in Gardens of everlasting bliss. But the greatest bliss is the Good Pleasure of Allah: that is the supreme felicity. (9: 72)
The purpose of family and marriage is to create an environment of understanding and confidence on each of the couples so that they may develop affable and amiable relation with each other and devote themselves completely to the service of the Lord and performance of the duty as vicegerents. It leads to the stability of the family which is very important in running the affairs of the family adequately, giving emotional satisfaction to the members and inner strength to do other jobs for the welfare of society. In case for some psychological, physical, and social reasons the relations between husband and wife become tense, their confidence on each other is shaken and understanding is lost, the family loses its sanctity and turns into a place of strain and stress. In spite of serious efforts from both sides, if the conflict is not resolved, the confidence is not restored, and the relation is not mended; it creates emotional disturbance to the couple and affects the growth and personality of children. In such a situation, Islam permits the dissolution of marriage to restore the functions of the family, compensate the damage caused by the conflict between husband and wife and to bring normalcy to the family life. This is characterised as Talaq (Divorce), a right given to husband and wife both in exceptional cases.
DIVORCE
Marriage in the Islamic social system is not a sacrament and thus not indissoluble. It is a civil contract and as such the provision is made to revoke the contract under extraordinary conditions, particularly, when the marital relations become so worst that a peaceful matrimonial life is impossible, and the terms of the contract are not observed by either party. Talaq is an Arabic word which means ‘undoing of or release from a knot’. ‘It is used by Muslim jurists to denote the release of a woman from the marriage tie, and means a divorce’ (A. Hussain). Islam takes great precaution that divorce would take place on genuine grounds and not on frivolous and unimportant ones because it is a great sin to exercise the right of divorce without genuine reasons. Divorce, in fact, is disliked by Allah and His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him).
The provision of divorce in Islam is to provide release from the marital bond in cases of absolute necessity, but it is not considered desirable. According to a tradition of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him), “The most repugnant of things made lawful in the sight of Allah is divorce.”
Another tradition states: “Marry but do not divorce, because Allah does not like men and women who relish variety in sexual pleasure.” However, man has been given right to divorce his wife on certain conditions. He has to give dowry fixed at the time of marriage (if not given earlier) to the wife if he decides to divorce. He is not permitted to withhold or take back anything given to her but treat her gently and allow her to settle with dignity.
Further, a divorce pronounced at a single sitting does not amount to final separation. The condition is that a divorce must be pronounced three times at intervals of one month each in order to take legal effect. There is a difference of opinion among jurists. Some think that a divorce takes effect if it is pronounced three times even at a single sitting. Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal and Imam Ibn Taymiyyah reject this opinion. According to them, a divorce does not take place if it is pronounced three times in one sitting. All the three pronouncements are considered one because the party has no time of reconciliation. It can only take effect when three such declarations are separated each by an interval of one month. This is in accordance with the spirit of the law. The provision of three declarations of divorce is made with a view of giving the husband an opportunity of reconciliation and reconsideration of his decision. This is also supported by the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) who regarded divorce by three pronouncements in one sitting immoral and amounting to sin. Umar, the Second Caliph, used to punish such persons who divorced their wives by three pronouncements at a single sitting. Similarly, Ibn ‘Abbas considered such divorce disobedience to divine command.
Islam has also given right to woman to get separation from her husband. There are two ways in which a woman can seek separation from her husband. One, she can get separation by mutual agreement with her husband. This is called Khula’. Two, she can get separation by moving a Shari’ah court or Darul Qada. This provision is to protect the right of a woman. There are many precedents where the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) and Umar (the rightly guided Caliph) permitted women to divorce their husbands on genuine grounds.
The most famous case is that of Thabit Bin Qais whose two wives sought divorce from him. One of them Jamilah Bint Abi Salul disliked his features. She said to the Prophet, “Nothing can bring him together with me . . . he is the blackest, the most short-statured and the ugliest . . . I don’t blame him for his morals or religion, but I am afraid Islam will lose its hold upon me if I am compelled to live with him.” After hearing her complaint, the Prophet said to her: “Will you give him back the orchard he gave you?” She replied, “Yes, and also more if he wants.” The Prophet asked her not to give more and ordered Thabit to accept the orchard and divorce her. (Cited by Siddiqi, M. M., 1993)
Besides inhuman treatment, Islam also allows divorce on other grounds. These are: option of puberty, refusal to provide economic sustenance, change of religion, impotence, infectious diseases in partner, wilful desertion and disappearance of husband.
WISDOM BEHIND DIVORCE
If we look at the provision of divorce in the Islamic familial system, we find it essential to lead a peaceful and contended life. The wisdom behind divorce is to strengthen family organisation and make it most capable of producing potential and dedicated persons to implement divine system on earth and create a righteous and altruistic society. If a person continuously lives in stress and strain, he/she cannot think in right direction and perform his/her duty in a proper way. Divorce helps a person to get out of the stressful situation and gives him/her an opportunity to become once again a potential member of the society.
The social systems which regarded marriage as a permanent bond and thus, indissoluble, realised in the wake of modern challenges that such a provision ruined the lives of many persons and compelled them to lead an abnormal life. In view of this distressful situation, they amended their systems and provided the provision of divorce to remove the suffering of people. Islam from the very beginning realised the situation and granted people freedom of divorce in extraordinary situation. Divorce is, in fact, a suitable remedy to disastrous and insoluble family problems, particularly in following situations:
- An unhappy marriage resulting in quarrel and squabble fails to realise the very purpose of marriage. There is no sense to live together in this situation because it creates more serious problems.
- It is without any wisdom and virtue to live together when the relations between the spouses have deteriorated beyond all hope of reconciliation.
- The tense relations between husband and wife affect the health, growth and education of children. Such a situation creates damaged personality, and children sometimes go astray and sometimes revolt against the institution of family.
- It is frequently observed that the husband and his family, in case of indissoluble bond of marriage, try to get rid of the wife. For this purpose, they sometimes burn the wife alive and sometimes adopt other practices to remove her from the scene.
- The provision of divorce provides an opportunity for the parties concerned to resettle in life. They can take lesson from their past experience, make life comfortable and dedicate themselves to the performance of their duties as human beings and as members of social organisations. It has been observed that after breaking the marital bond the new marriage brings peace and happiness in the lives of the persons concerned.
- An unhappy marriage is a curse. There are cases where separation is more desirable than the continuance of such a marriage. Aftab Hussain observes, “The atmosphere of loathing, disgust and abhorrence in the house may be more disturbing and more repelling for the children and separation between the parents may even be a welcome change for them.” In this situation, divorce comes as the last resort to bring peace and harmony to family life.
In the perspective discussed above, the wisdom behind the provision of divorce in Islam is to bring normalcy to the family organisation, maintain its sanctity, stability and paramountcy, to create healthy, cordial and exquisite relations among the inmates and other fellow human beings, and to establish the sovereignty and suzerainty of the Lord in every walk of life and make this world worth living.