Few days ago I posted a story on fb about Mahr-e-Fatimi which is the ‘in’ thing these days in marriages that are otherwise elaborate and extravagant in every nature but “sunnah” only when it comes to Mahr. People automatically assume Mahr-e-Fatimi when they want to give the “Sunnah/ recommended” (read ridiculously cheap) amount. The girl’s side, often at the demand of groom’s family, spends several times their net worth on a lavish wedding, which keeps them under the pressure of debts for several years. Yet at the time of stipulating the Mahr, the guy and his family wants to camouflage their ignorant practices by seizing on to ideas stemmed from lack of knowledge and misinterpretation of Islam.
I received a couple of responses on my post and they all were holding up a mirror to Muslim community. Many sisters said they got to know about their Mahr at the time of Nikah through the Qazi. Some were miffed at what it was but none could protest. Some were promised a huge amount but even after years of marriage it’s still resting on the paper. There is a widespread notion that Mahr is supposed to be paid only at the time of divorce otherwise there is no need. Some wives “pardon” their Mahr out of “love” for their husbands, and the money is used often to pay for something which ideally was the husband’s responsibility. What a sad reality that we’ve reached a stage where even Mahr needs security.
In the pretence of Fatimi Mahr many sisters were conned by their husbands with a pathetically low amount. Last year one of my friends got married and her Mahr was a little over `1000.These people deliberately miscalculate Mahr-e-Fatimi and use it as a cover to get away with paying the least possible Mahr. Ameer Jamaat-e-Islami Hind Sadatullah Husaini has given an accurate calculation of Mahr-e-Fatimi.
“According to ahadith mehar fatimi is 500 Dirham (or 1531 gram of silver). In today’s price it will be Rs. 98750. But as many Islamic Economists pointed, now silver is no longer financial standard so its value has significantly dropped down, but the gold is still a standard. So to properly understand the financial numbers of Prophetic time, we need to take gold standard into account. As per the standards of dirham and dinar, that prophet SAW established, the ratio between gold and silver rates was 1:7. (that is the reason the zakat nisab is 75 gram gold or 525 gram of silver). If we convert Mehar Fatimi into gold standard, it becomes 219 gram of gold (around Rs. 12 Lakh !!!) So if anyone who wants to give Mehar Fatimi, he should give `12 lakh.”
We live in a society where money for nonsense customs like “Joota chupai/churai” is fixed prior to wedding but the discussion of Mahr is avoided as if it is some immodest and insignificant matter. It is the girl’s right alone to demand her Mahr. Parents of the girl don’t even care to inform her what her Mahr is let alone asking or involving her in the decision making process. Do parents realise that Allah will not ask them whether they purchased designer outfits or branded jewelleries for their daughters? But yes! They will be definitely questioned on whether they gave them the freedom to exercise their rights which Islam guarantees them.
We cannot do away with these sick practices that are rooted in culture, by just asking the girls to speak up and demand their rights. Many cannot even afford to speak up for their Mahr themselves. It’s simply not an option for them. Everyone should come together to eradicate these evil practices… Bride, groom, their parents, including the imams or qazis who officiate the marriage. Unless we divorce ourselves from culture, this exploitation will not stop.