Family is one of the important aspects of human life. It starts with the history of mankind when Adam and Hawwa were created by Allah and life on earth began. The concept of family is based on the fact that man is a social entity and the family describes the role of man and woman.In Arabic, the wordsusra(which denotes cohesion, union, and protection) and ‘Ah al-Bayt’are used to define family. ‘Ah al-Bayt’is mostly used to describe the family of the Prophet ﷺand is actually used for household and family. The word ‘Ahl’ means to get married and ‘bayt’ means place of serenity and accommodation.
STRUCTURE OF A MUSLIM FAMILY
A Muslim family consists of close family members (blood relation) and extended family members. The first and basic fold includes husband, wife, their children and their parents (if living together). The next fold is the central core,which includes close relatives whether they are living together or not. These relatives are mehram and there is no veil from them. They also have a claim in inheritance (the first line of inheritors). Marriage is forbidden with them. These relationships emerge from love, caring, respect and affinity.
These include father, mother, son, daughter, grandfather, grandfather, grandson, granddaughter, brothers and sisters, etc. The relations of second degree such as descendants of brothers and sisters. Mother-in-law, and father-in-law, etc. are also included here. Basically, an Islamic family is based on
- The inner core of the family (closest relations);
- The central core of the family (Mehram); and
- Wider family relations.
ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE OF FAMILY
The Qur’ān mentions:
“O men, fear your Lord who created you from a single soul, and from it created its match, and spread many men and women from the two. Fear Allah in whose name you ask each other (for your rights), and fear (the violation of the rights of) the womb-relations. Surely, Allah is watchful over you.”
(Surah An-Nisa, 4:1)
Islam emphasises the importance of relationship in family. It teaches us how to live with members of family in a family setup and also in society. Muslims are frequently reminded in the Qur’ān that maintaining relationships and doing good with others are charity. Spending a penny on your family is also a Sadaqua(charity).
Here are some verses and ahadiththat emphasise the importance of maintaining ties of kinship. And gives a clear picture of how a believer should treat his family.
EVIDENCE OF FAITH
This was narrated by Abu Hurairah that Prophet Muhammad ﷺsaid:Maintaining a good relationship with your family is evidence of your Faith and your belief in the Day of Judgement. A believer does so for the sake of pleasing Allahand to receive Allah’s blessings and mercy.
The life of Prophet Muhammad ﷺis an example of an ideal life.He was very kind with his family.He was the best husband, best father and best brother. As mentioned in many ahadiths:
“He who believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain good relations with kins.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
“The word ar-rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one of the names of Allah) and Allah said: ‘I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, (womb, i.e. kith and kin) and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you (womb, i.e. kith and kin).’”
(Sahih al-Bukhari)
Maintaining good ties are one of the dearest deeds to Allah.
Narrated Abu Darda, the Prophet ﷺ said:
“Shall I not inform you of something more excellent in degree than fasting, prayer and almsgiving (sadaqah)?” The people replied: “Yes, O Prophet of Allah!” He said: “It is putting things right between people, spoiling them is the shaver (destructive).’”
(Sunan Abi Dawood)
Allah said this act is more important than fasting, prayer, sadaqah or any other obligatory prayers. It also said not only maintaining kinship but doing justice with family members becoming a problem solver, source of reconnect and helping others are more respected deeds.
The reward for strengthening the kinship has more weightage than any other deeds. And,their efforts will be rewarded by Allah the Exalted.
It gives immense physical social and spiritual satisfaction. Having strong ties in family gives an immense pleasure and satisfaction.
At the time of hardship, a person gets mental and physical support from his family only. It also connects a person to the creator as following his order.
It is reported in a Hadith that spending money on your family enhances your rizq. it also enhances faith. Allah gives his blessings in the form of health, wealth or both.
Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺsaid:
“Anyone who is pleased that his sustenance is expanded and his age extended should do kindness to his near relatives.”
(Sunan Abi Dawood)
It doubles the reward of a believer if he is spending on his family and close relatives.
Breaking the ties of kinship is strictly forbidden. There is no sin more deserving that Allah hastens the punishment in this world, in addition to what is stored up for him in the Hereafter – than injustice and severing the ties of kinship.”
(Sunan Ibn Majah)
It is a strictly forbidden and punishable deed if one breaks the kinship. It is one of the most unpleasant act of a person. Even a person will not be able to enter Paradise if he/ she breaks the ties of family.
“The one who severs ties of kinship will not enter the Garden.”
(Al-Adab Al-Mufrad)
Although we all struggle to keep good relationships with our family members and even with members of blood relation also,we must not forget the impact of western world and non-Islamic values on our families. This is the main reason for breaking families.
One who struggles hard to maintain kinship will definitely get a reward from Allah. We should also learn from the Prophets’life when brothers of Hazrat Yusuf planned to kill him and threw him into a deep well.At that time his patience and his beliefin Allah brought to him the blessings of Allah and when he was powerful, he forgave his brothers and reunited with his family. Many prophets set examples which we should learn and take messages from their life. Whether it was Hazrat Ibrahim and his father, Nuh and his son, Hud and his wife and Prophet Muhammad ﷺand his uncles. In all these examples these Prophets showed best behaviour with their respective families.
In the current world, when family disputes are increasing and people are becoming intolerant to others, we should take messages from the life of prophets with patience and for sake of Allah we should always try to make our family an ideal one. As reported by Hazrat Aisha,the Messenger of Allah ﷺsaid, “The best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best to my family.” (Tirmidhi)