The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) said, “My Lord commanded me to adhere to nine things. He commanded me to be sincere when in private and in public, be Just in times of peace and when in rage, be moderate in poverty and in abundance, be forgiving to him who wrongs me, share with him who deprives me (of his bestowals), acknowledge him who breaks relations with me, ponder over things while I am silent, mention Him (God) whenever I speak, and learn lessons from things that I see.” (Mishkat) The hadīth comprises nine instructions, which can be subdivided in three components, such as self-efficacy, social skill and self-image, which can be understood as three components to develop one’s personality. They are as follows:
Self-Efficacy
Self-Efficacy is one’s belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish a task. One’s sense of self-efficacy can play a major role in how one approaches goals, tasks, and challenges. The three aspects in the hadīth which fall under the category of ‘self-efficacy’ are as follows:
- Being sincere when in private and in public
One should always strive to be sincere both in private and in public. Many times a person tends to be very sincere when in public, as people are watching him, but when it comes to his actions in private, he commits sins.
- Being just in times of peace and when in rage
Being just is one of the most important principles of Islam. It is also very important for an individual to be just in every situation. Generally a person might be just when he is in peace but fails to do justice when in rage, thus being just on both the occasions is emphasised.
iii. Being moderate in poverty and in abundance
One should always try to be moderate in spending money when Allah afflicts a person with poverty or when He favours a person by offering him wealth. Generally a person would be moderate in spending during poverty but the real challenge is being moderate when Allah has blessed a person with abundance, because some people become stingy and do not spend money and some people spend money extravagantly. Thus, Allah enjoins people in this regard when He says in the Qur’ān, “… And do not be extravagant; indeed, He does not like those who are extravagant” (Qur’ān 6:141) and “And do not make your hand (as) chained to your neck …” (Qur’ān 17:29). Allah also says in the Qur’ān, “And (they are) those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or economically but are ever, between that, (justly) moderate.” (Qur’ān 25:67)
Social Skill
Social skill is the act of facilitating interaction and communication with others. Social rules and relations are created, communicated, and changed in verbal and nonverbal ways. It is basically the ability to communicate, persuade, and interact with other members of the society, without undue conflict or disharmony. The three aspects in the hadīth which fall under the category of ‘social skills’ are as follows:
- Forgiving those who have wronged you
Forgiving people is a very difficult act in a person’s life. A man should have a very big heart if he has to forgive people and it is more difficult to forgive when the crime is big or when the loss is huge. The best example in this regard is after the Battle of Uhd. It was a situation where the Muslims had to face a massive loss in the battle which they had won. It was the battle in which Hamza, the Prophet’s uncle was martyred. It was the battle in which 70 companions were martyred. It was the battle in which the Prophet lost his tooth and his mouth started bleeding. It was a battle which looked like the struggle of Islam had come to an end and this happened only because the companions disobeyed the Prophet. After all this, the Prophet had every right to get angry on his companions for their disobedience. But Allah instructed the Prophet to forgive them.
Allah says in the Qur’ān, “So by mercy from Allah, (O Muhammad), you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude (in speech) and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely (upon Him).” (Qur’ān 3:159) The ayah is a communication from Allah to the Prophet, where the Prophet is being told to be lenient, not to be rude in speech, not to be harsh at heart, pardon them and also consult them. Thus, only people with great personality will be able to forgive people.
- Share with those who have deprived you
People generally share things with people who have given them their dues and who generally care for them, but what is signified here is that one should actually share with people who have deprived them their rights. Allah says in the Qur’ān, “… Repel (evil) by that (deed) which is better ….” (Qur’ān 41:34) Islam always teaches us to repel evil with good, which would help win hearts of enemies.
Umm Jamil, the wife of Abu Lahab (who were the neighbours of the Prophet, deprived the right of being a neighbour to Prophet (pbuh) as she would put thorns in his path and also threw garbage and would slander him. One day when she did not throw garbage, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) went to her house to enquire about her. This shows how the Prophet shared the rights of people even when they deprived him of the same.
iii. Acknowledge him who has broken ties with you
One should ensure that he maintains good relationship with everyone. Especially one should maintain relationship with people who have broken ties with him, which is a much more difficult task. Abu Hurairah said, the Messenger of Allah said, “It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his (Muslim) brother beyond three days; and whosoever does so for more than three days, and then dies, will certainly enter the Hell.” (Abu Dawood) Abu Khirash Hadrad bin Abu Hadrad Al-Aslami said, I heard the Prophet saying, “Whosoever forsakes his brother for a year is like one who sheds his blood.” (Abu Dawood) The Prophet said, “Does not enter Paradise he who breaks up his family ties.” (Bukhari) These hadīths show the importance of maintaining relationship with people. Thus we should always strive to maintain relationship with people, even when they are not interested in maintaining it.
Self-Image
Self-image is how we see ourselves. This may be how we see ourselves physically or your opinion of who and what we are which is normally called self-concept. It is important as it affects our self-esteem and confidence. The three aspects in the hadīth which fall under the category of ‘self-image’ are as follows:
- Ponder over things while in silence
In order to get closer to Allah, one should ponder over the universe. The more the person ponders, the more he understands the ability of Allah and ultimately gets closer to him. The Qur’ān also openly and regularly invites the readers to ponder over the creation of Allah. Allah says in the Qur’ān, “And of His signs is (that) He shows you the lightning (causing) fear and aspiration, and He sends down rain from the sky by which He brings to life the earth after its lifelessness. Indeed in that are signs for a people who apply reason.” (Qur’ān 30:24) Thus, the ayah is asking people to ponder over the creation.
- Mention the name of God while speaking
The communication of the individual should be God-centric. Whenever one is communicating, he should mention the name of Allah and should also remember him. Making the discussion God-centric will make a person more God-conscious. This will help the person to refrain from the evils of the tongue such as backbiting, slandering, lying, insulting and cursing. While the communication of the person is God-centric, he would be just in his communication, which would help him to abstain from sins.
iii. Learn lessons from things which are seen
A person should always strive to learn from things what he sees around him, so that he can go beyond just learning from mistakes. This basically states that one should be very watchful, alert and up to date about various developments which are happening around him, which would help him to learn from the mistakes which are committed by people, rather than repeating them again.
The above mentioned nine points might look very simple, but they are very difficult to implement in one’s life. But when one makes these qualities part of his life then he would definitely become a much better and successful person in his life and would be successful in the hereafter as well. Imbibing these qualities is nothing but following the methodology of Prophet Muhammed (peace and blessings of Allah be to him), as he also did possess all these qualities.
[Syed Kazim is working as Assistant Professor at Acharya Bangalore B School, Bengaluru. He can be contacted at [email protected].]