Women’s Wing Jamaat-e-Islami Hind recently organised a campaign on ‘Strong Family Strong Society’ with the of objective of creating awareness about importance of family, identifying and eliminating family issues and introducing a constructive family system to form a strong society.
Let’s explore few touchstones highlighted in this campaign to strengthen and stabilise the institution of family to provide a healthy nourishment to the society.
As we head towards global revolution based on modern-day ‘ISMS’, there is lack of Divine affiliation in our life. This has resulted in the negative traits like materialism, egomania, envy, grudge, suspicion, discontent, mistrust, competition, bitterness in individuals. The signs of these traits are visible in family relations too. Hence there is an exigency to replace these negative traits with positive ones such as hearty, selfless love, respect, sacrifice, adjustment and loyal concern towards each other in a family which can be only achieved by Divine intervention.
Common creed in all religions about belief in God, Prophethood and Life hereafter needs to be revived. Jealousy can be defeated by firm and stable belief in God and full trust in Him which ushers satisfaction in one’s achievements as rightful gift of God and be grateful for it.
Materialism can be conquered by reinforcing belief in Life hereafter as everlasting abode which will be judged not on worldly possessions but on your pious life and good deeds carried out here.
The teachings of Prophets (peace be to them) give insight into few questions like where do we come from, what is the purpose of our life and where we have to return, thus giving a direction to our living which, if applied in family and social life, assist in true success. There is staunch urgency to exhilarate this common concept of all religions among people to knock off moral dilapidation.
Family begins with husband and wife. A loyal, legal relationship is a must to begin a family. Marriage makes the knot of male and female bond strong as the couple is more committed to the relationship since it provides economic, social and mental stability necessary for leading a happy and healthy life. All other relations outside marriage can serve only temporary satisfaction, with no rights and commitment, ultimately leaving you lonely and hollow. Making marriages simple and economical relieves the freight of families, who have to strive womb-to-tomb to arrange for a marriage. This also helps in timely marriage and eliminate vices erupting in society due to delayed marriages.
Selecting a right spouse is the next step since spouse is the better half of your life and a builder of future generation, their support and encouragement. Giving priority only to professional women for marriage so as to benefit from their income for lifetime in the form of new Dowry system, is creating potential threat to family system, as home making and raising children are sidelined to meet with the materialistic demands. It is also posing threat to the marriage of girls belonging to economically weaker section or those who prefer home making as their career in life.
Spouses with common shared values and beliefs guarantee tranquillity in the relationship. True mutual love, concern, trust, protection and security between the spouses and valuing each other’s contribution to the family further adds to this tranquillity. Husband-wife relationship need to work on reconciliation mechanism, dividing the areas of work to avoid weighing down on single individual and providing support to each other during hard times. There should be concern by both wife and husband towards each one’s in-laws breaking the stereotype that only women need to look after her in-laws. Screening each other’s secrets and weaknesses and resolving husband-wife petty issues among themselves averts major disputes.
Once the couple turns into parents, they should examine their parenting. Normally children are raised as asset for future, which if not fulfilled to the parent’s mark, leaves them disappointed. The right outlook is raising the children as a responsibility and test for the parents so that they are raised, treated and educated responsibly realising their accountability for this gift of life given to them by God.
Effective parenting is essential for orienting children towards morality, humanity and discipline instead of inculcating materialistic perception. Self-modelling by parents turning the words of wisdom into actions has strong effect on children. Children have to be trained for both loss and win situations. Freedom along with right coaching is a must for bonding children with family and veiling them from societal vices.
Negative traits responsible for weak parent-children bond are humiliating children, discussing their weaknesses and secrets in the presence of others, comparing their incomes and turning home into competitive zone, overburdening children with extra demands and delay in marriages.
Positive traits to be adopted by parents towards children include appreciating rightful achievements of children, condemning for unrightful conduct, discussing family matters within family circle and consulting each other for decision-making and giving due rights in inheritance to both boys and girls.
Right parenting will undoubtedly develop loving bond between parents and children and in turn children will undertake their duties towards parents and other family members without any quibbles. There will be respect, gentleness, love and care in their approach towards parents, leaving no room for old age homes, insult or humiliation for parents in their old age.
Family, as a whole, progresses on mutual adjustments by all. Keeping demands in control and spending wisely to manage family affairs, excluding unwanted expenses, arranging only essential family functions with only affordable means and wealth shunning burden of loans, assure stress-free family ambience, abolishing future radical effects. Satisfaction in lawful earnings even to small amount keeps families together and allows to spend quality time together which is immensely important for cheerful, contented life.
As the foundation of a house is designed for earthquake resistance, likewise a family too needs a strong foundation to resist hard times which can be achieved by Strong faith in God, Destiny, Strong family bonds, mutual cooperation, morals and systematic discipline. Lifelong binding relations cannot be established on sharing costly gifts and celebrations, which can serve as only temporary mechanisms of pleasure.
The family gives rise to and provides a fertile ground for sound individuals. Individuals produced in a healthy family are productive for society at large.
A person disappointed with his family life will try to vacate his anger on everyone else in the society. He cannot create a pleasing office atmosphere and will definitely bring negative effect on productivity. He will have arguments and quarrels wherever he visits, thus feeling the society with hatred and violence.
A person with family disputes and tensions also tends to commit suicide, thus ending a life which could be beneficial to society with its talents and capabilities.
Children having family disputes give less attention to education and career, thus affecting the development of society. People with family problems also subject to addictions of alcohol and drugs and effect of this is visible in the society.
Thus the family atmosphere can shape an individual’s life either to make or break a society. Orienting one’s life by balancing relations, career, social work in a justified manner, keeping God in Focal point, helps in maintaining a balanced life.