For the last couple of weeks I have been very restless because on introspection I find all my ibadat all these years nothing beyond rituals. I live in a posh colony in Noida. And a good number of Muslim families reside in and around this vicinity. All elite and intellectual people. On observation I find most of us lack proper direction being Muslim. But we (at least myself) don’t have guts to speak the truth. We fear if we do so the concerned shall feel offended and there may be a breach in our relationship. While the four pre-requisites for salvation and success as per Surah al-Asr are: Faith (Iman), Righteous deeds (Amal-e-saleh), and emphasising each other the teaching of the Truth (Twasi bil-haque) and mutual exhortation to constancy and steadfastness (Twasi bis-sabr).
On another instance in Suratul Luqman, Hazrat Luqman’s advice to his sons is to establish salah rather keep the salah established, and enjoin others to whatever is good (maaruf) and forbid all from whatever is evil (munkar). We must realise at this point that Allah, in our very nature has made it known to us what good is and what evil is. Whatever our nature knows to be good is maaruf and on the other hand whatever our nature refrains from is munkar. Therefore, enjoining others to good and forbidding all from evil is extremely important and this would be the biggest service to humanity.
Looking after the sick, helping the poor, taking care of orphans and widows, etc. no doubt, are also services to humanity. To us, who have faith in Akhirah, enjoining others to good and forbidding all from (evil) is paramount. A famous hadīth of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) says that if you see something wrong/evil/unjust – munkar – being done, it is your duty to stop it by force; if not capable of doing so, by your words; and even if this is not possible for you, so at least one should feel sorry and aggrieved in the heart.
In the light of the above I am failing to tell the concerned, so I am bringing those facts by way of this article which is particularly for – we – the parents – in connection with our daughters and their training and education.
We are living in a world of cause and effect, and we are bound to be influenced by its external features. We know that in today’s world we get comfort, prosperity, honour and reputation only if we have money and other worldly resources. Therefore, we even unwillingly feel bound to rush to get this so much so that we forget to distinguish between right and wrong, legal and illegal, approved and forbidden. We are being deceived by the glamour of this material world.
When we look around known families around us – our near and dear ones – we feel happy that we are trying to provide good education for our daughters but not as per the guidance of the Qur’ān and Hadīth. It’s extremely necessary to educate our daughters in the best possible manner because when we educate a girl we as a matter of fact educate a generation. But the end of all knowledge must be the building up of character and not mere career or just for loaves and fishes. Any knowledge or for that matter even health and wealth could be the blessings of Allah upon us only when it is in accordance with the teachings and guidance of the Qur’ān and Hadīth. This unfortunately is not happening.
Don’t we find our daughters being sent abroad for education at a very tender age – at school level? At this age our daughters need parental training and guidance the most. So what sort of education we are trying to give them and at what cost? Is the present day situation and environment conducive enough to guard against any sort of mishap? Have we taught them enough of the Qur’ān and Hadīth so that they are matured enough to distinguish between good and evil? Have we ensured that they offer regular five times prayers which is the best shield against all bad and evil?
On the contrary, don’t we see our daughters who are doing graduation, masters or research going to their colleges and institutions the same way as all other girls where it is hard to distinguish between a Muslim and other girl? Is the way they carry themselves – their dresses, mannerism, behaviour, etc. in accordance with the guidelines of the Qur’ān and Hadīth? Doesn’t it seem very ironical when we see mothers in hijab and daughters moving around in T-shirts and without even dupatta? Do we have any right to protest when others ban hijab while we ourselves are not objecting to our daughters moving around without even dupatta? Don’t we see our daughters going to the community swimming facilities where there are no exclusive arrangements for females? Don’t we find our daughters involved in other objectionable activities?
Are we parents discharging our duties and responsibilities towards our daughters in accordance with the Qur’ān and Hadīth? We are trying to give the best education to our daughters – well and good – but what is the motive? Career? To make them a house-maker or a home-maker? Aren’t we allowing our daughters to take up jobs away from our cities instead of getting them married off at the earliest possible? Don’t we see so many girls around us who are very highly educated and it is being difficult for the parents to find a suitable match for them and they remain unmarried? Aren’t we making compromise so much so that the psyche of our daughters is fixed for material pursuits and there would be no concept of family life let alone the life hereafter?
It’s high time we parents become more responsible and set our priorities right. We must ask Allah to make our wives and children true believers so that they should practise righteousness and become a source of comfort for us. We must be more concerned about the salvation of our beloved ones in the Hereafter than the enjoyment of the world.
“Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the God-fearing (Muttaqûn).” 25:74
That is, we should excel in piety, righteousness and good deeds; nay, we should become the leaders of the pious people so that we may lead them in the propagation of virtue and piety in the world. Incidentally, this characteristic of true servants of Allah is in great contrast to that of the unbelievers, who strove in competition and rivalry with one another for superiority in worldly power and wealth. Therefore, may Allah protect us from being like those unbelievers and guide us to excel in piety, righteousness and good deeds. And this could happen only when we make the Qur’ān and Hadīth a part of our daily life and our children’s too. May Allah bless us with his Maghfirah, Hidayah and Rahmah! Amen.