What is Rightfully Yours

Liberty and Equality are bad principles. The only true principle for humanity is justice; and justice to the feeble is protection and kindness.” – Henri-Frédéric Amiel, Swiss Philosopher.
If there’s anything I have ever heard women talk of the most in my conversations with them, then it would be Feminism a.k.a. Women Power. I would nod, smile, digress just to save myself from their wrath. Even if I were to explain in the clearest of terms that my choice to stay home is not because of some male dominated culture, it would probably end up in a soundless echo, and sceptic thoughts of how irrational and brainwashed of a being I am.
It seems to disbelieve in Feminism is to believe in gender inequality, backbreaking patriarchy, women oppression, ruthless Shari’ah and other things I didn’t even know existed. But if Feminism were to ever do justice, it would voice women and men equally, the reality of which does not seem to be lost on the many women who rally under the banner of #womenagainstfeminism. If I had watered down my beliefs to match theirs, I would be following a ‘Western colonial construct’, spreading (dis)harmony among the genders and probably backing all the supposedly oppressed women from the middle-east in their fight against men – their husbands, fathers and brothers – and also be writing How Men Are Not An Asset To The Society Because They Are Not Women. Even Erin Pizzey, a woman, who wrote the first book ever on Domestic Violence reiterated the dangers of Feminism, and for years trotted the globe with a police escort because militant Feminists were not so happy with her view of gender justice.
The Problem with the feminist idea is that it’s based on a skewed perception of gender equality, where cooperation or mutualism finds no significance. Abdullah al-Andalusi, cofounder of the Muslim Debate Initiative and prominent debater on Secularism and Liberalism, provides a refreshing point of view in his lecture Does Islam Promote Gender Equality? and I believe and echo the same. Western Philosophies vary in their understanding of equality and are unable to provide any sound justification for it. If we are equal merely as humans and must have an equal access to the right to freedom, then why do we have prisoners captive? Or, why are there rich and poor people? If equality demands privileges for one gender at the expense of the other, it becomes antagonistic to justice itself. And justice is a ‘higher ideal’ than equality. The Qur’ān was revealed for this higher purpose – to establish justice.
‘We sent our messengers with clear signs and sent down with them a book and the measure of the balance in order to establish justice among the people.’  (Qur’ān, 57:25)
Al-Andalusi believes that if we are equal in any other way, then it is only in the eyes of God, who bestowed upon us ‘equal capability and equal access to be righteous.’
‘I do not waste the deed of any other among you, any male or female. The one of you is as the other.’ (The Qur’ān, 03:195)
The value of a man or woman, both recognised as humans with similar souls, is based on the conformity of their actions to the commands of their Creator. Piety is the standard set. And, piety is against all forms of social evils we see today.
“And whoever does righteous good deeds, male or female, and is a true believer in the Oneness of God, such will enter paradise; and not the least injustice, even to the size of a speck on the back of a date stone, will be done to them.” (Qur’ān 4:124)
“Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you.” (Qur’ān 49:13)
“Those who do good will have the best reward and even more.” (Qur’ān 10:26)
“And vie each other in good works….” (Qur’ān 02:148)
“Being honourable is wealth and noble character is piety.” (Ibn Majah, Book 37, Hadith 4359)
So, the commandments relating to Islam – prayer, fasting, pilgrimage, alms, politics, business, transactions, employment, punishments for transgressing the bounds set by Allah, are the same for all ‘humans’ irrespective of the gender. A number of ayahs and sayings of the Prophet confirm this.
Moreover, Islam does not believe in absolute freedom of an individual, neither man nor woman is allowed to use their bodies as they will. Absolute power is with the Creator, and because man is neither the best judge nor the best guardian of his own interests, this becomes imperative for the moral progress of both men and women. Islam teaches us that ‘we exist for God, and in doing so we exist to serve each other.’
Zara Faris, a British researcher and speaker, in her talk Muslim Women: Oppressed or Liberated? elucidates this quite aptly,
“How do any of us, men or women, how do we own our bodies? If ownership is controlled, then neither men nor women own our bodies. Did we give birth to ourselves? Can we will against ageing or sickness? If ownership is not controlled, is it maintenance? If it’s maintenance, can we survive without depending on other bodies, other human beings? Can we survive without depending on our environment for our continued existence?… So, Islam recognises we do not own our body, therefore, we cannot have complete autonomy, neither men nor women.”
Islam also recognises the biological differences between the two genders, which is not foreign to science either. In this aspect, ‘it aims to create equal justice depending on their needs and circumstances,’ which edges on equitability than uniformity. Lopa Hussain, co-author of Does Islam Oppress Women? explains,
“The differences between men and women lead to specific needs and complex disputes whose management is a key element of ensuring social cohesion. Any failure to acknowledge or manage these needs and disputes effectively in the name of equality can be just as oppressive and detrimental as believing they symbolise the superiority of one sex over the other.”
Instead of making an enemy of the other gender, Islam strikes a balance between rights and obligations of both men and women, so both are benefitted and neither is harmed. If there are disparate rights and obligations pertaining to a specific gender, it is because of their ‘inherent differences’ addressing the needs of their particular nature or attribute.
For a cohesive society to exist Islam demands reciprocal relationships between the two genders through marriage. If men are made the protectors and maintainers of women under Islamic principles, it is not because one is above the other. It is purely an obligation on man, he is held accountable and responsible for the affairs of women under his care, which requires him to take proper care of them, protect them, feed them, clothe them and fulfil all their needs.
“Clothe them as you do, feed them as you do, and do not beat them or insult them.” (Abu Dawood 2144)
It is not seen as ‘man power’ or privilege in any way whatsoever. Al-Andalusi puts it beautifully in the following words,
“Men are protectors and maintainers of the family. So men revolve around the nucleus, and the nucleus of the family is the woman.”
And if women are defined in terms of mothers and wives, it is in no way demeaning or indicative of a general preference of men over women. It is described as a primary role, and a highly esteemed one but not the only role, so she is free to choose more than one if she deems fit. What’s more is that the piety of a man is measured in relation to his treatment of his wife.
“The best among you (men) are those who are best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi 1162)
Both duties compliment one another and aim to help in empowering a way of life that suggests peace and tranquillity at home and in the public. With that said, the woman has the right to her own identity, dignity, honour, respect, time and love and care as much as the man of the house does (Surah al-Baqara, verse 228: “…women have rights similar to those that men have over them, in a just manner…”). However, roles can be swapped under special circumstances with the consent of either of the spouses, and in no way force or even verbal abuse or trampling all over each other is encouraged but both male and female chauvinism is greatly abhorred, either of which tilts the balance to extremes.
‘And live with them in kindness, even if you dislike them; it is possible that Allah may bring much good to you through that very thing you dislike.’ (Qur’ān, 4:19)
To some this role of a woman seems very oppressive and subjugating. The reasons show misandrist inclinations, as Erin Pizzey wrote in How Feminists Tried To Destroy The Family (2007),
“….expressed their beliefs in a social policy paper called The Family Way. It said: ‘It cannot be assumed that men are bound to be an asset to family life, or that the presence of fathers in families is necessarily a means to social harmony and cohesion.’ It was a staggering attack on men and their role in modern life.”
“I believe that the feminist movement envisaged a new Utopia that depended upon destroying family life. In the new century, so their credo ran, the family unit will consist of only women and their children. Fathers are dispensable.”
But Islam doesn’t burden a soul with more than what it can bear. It is a known fact that we, women, prefer less physically demanding jobs and safer environments. When ForbesWoman carried out a survey, 84% of the working women surveyed confessed that staying home to raise children is a financial luxury they aspire to. They have a new “definition of success: setting work aside to stay home with the kids.’ The article further reads, ‘The myths of the happy, ‘have-it-all’ working woman are not necessarily lies…’but at best partial truths.’ No matter how hard we try or who we marry, having kids while simultaneously to achieve career success sucks.”
Woman also has the right to own property, that no one can touch, the right to separate from her husband, the right to vote, own business, right to education, right to choose her husband, right to dowry from him, the right to keep her name after marriage. Some women, however, consider these Islamic rights given to them as licence to discredit any male authority over them – be it fathers or husbands – without considering the possibility of transgressing against what Islam may have prescribed for them. It is pertinent to understand that with obligations come rights. If a man is obligated to finance and protect women under his care, he may as well have the right to decide regarding matters that will probably affect his ability to fulfil his obligations towards them. If women discredit authority just because he is a man, they may as well forego the entitlements they enjoy under him through Islamic law – finance, protect and live by themselves without considering the existence of him or any of his obligations towards them, except if their employer turns out to be an unfortunate man. I doubt any woman would then defy orders from him simply because he’s a man or claim that he shall not exercise authority over her in any way.
Gender segregation in Islam often raises questions about its purpose and possible discriminatory nature. It appears differences in treatment based on gender are rather too offensive to some. But not all differences and distinctions are discriminatory, especially those which pursue a legitimate aim, and the means employed to achieve it are sound and reasonable enough.
In her study, Lopa Hussain elaborates, “Islam arranged public life through the segregation between men and women and through specifying the basic attire for men and women. In this way the role of men and women is clearly defined and no gender struggle took place in Islamic History.” The society we live in today believes in an individual’s autonomy and ‘removal of all obstacles,’ where one’s consent is more important than any criticism on moral grounds. She further writes how such societies encourage citizens to ‘fetishise certain parts of their bodies.’ ‘Men and women are bombarded with a variety of sexual imagery at all times’ and ‘the sexual agitation excited can then be satisfied by a growing number of ways, all of which, are based on the core concept of freedom to choose how to live, use one’s body and how to satisfy an urge.’ Such societies ‘have the potential for absolute sexual chaos’ and ‘find themselves at the mercy of rising rates of sexual crimes, both petty and violent.’ The current state of sexual crimes is a gross reminder that religion is necessary to recognise and curb immorality because otherwise our secular laws seem to be failing us miserably.
Our societies find themselves in the midst of a moral mess, where we are taught to chase exaggerated forms of beauty. A woman is measured in terms of her physical appeal and financial independence and if there’s anything that raises the status of a woman in the society, it is a successful career, in the eyes of both men and women. Those who don’t have one are regarded as unmentionables. It is no wonder that some of the highest earning women are also those who flaunt their skin publicly.
Basic human dignity requires one to cover their bodies, whether they like it or not. If Islam prescribes various forms of covering for women and proper attire for men in public, it is to reduce attention and prohibit sexual politics. Because modesty is of utmost importance, men have been commanded to lower their gaze. The Burqa, the head covering and the veil aim to elevate women from this lowly form of animal life, so they are measured in terms of what they do and are ‘liberated from sexual attention because it doesn’t benefit society at all.’ Notice the number of rules that pop up for burqa-clad women, only to make them realise how unwanted they are in a society that is used to seeing bare skin all the time. The Burqa or covering one’s bodies, in general, promotes cohesiveness in the society, so eyes and hearts stay in their legitimate places, where they should be, where spouses (men and women both) aren’t insecure and don’t resign to absurdities like competing each other for more sex appeal.
On the concept of niqab, Zara Faris says, “The etymology of the word ‘niqab’ actually means to make a piercing or to travel through a place…” So wearing a niqab “is like perforating society with your presence but in a kind of dignified and liberating way which makes our lives easier rather than harder.”
There are many Qur’ānic ayahs and sayings of the Prophet that are often misquoted and misinterpreted including those on Polygamy. To understand them fully one must take into account the context of the ayahs and the practices of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be to him) and his Companions. If polygamy is permitted (not commanded), it is only when a man is capable enough to treat his wives equitably in all aspects of life. The same ayah on polygamy continues:
“But if you fear that you will not be just, then marry only one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline (to injustice).” (The Qur’ān, 4:3)
That gender justice exists in Islam, is not a farcical statement. As Muslims or their actions are not allowed to define Islam, so should Islam be examined in the light of the Qur’ānic principles that are intrinsic to it. Studies of the historical practices of the early Muslims reveal a different reality altogether. When Islam dawned upon them, mothers, daughters and wives became a ticket to paradise. The Prophet’s wives and the female companions excelled in whatever role they chose for themselves, be it household affairs, politics, business, law, war, education, Islamic jurisprudence and so on. Women continued to excel under Muslim rule in the later centuries as well. What we see today in the Muslim communities is a biased product of colonialism and a hotchpotch of western ideologies, religion, culture and tradition where not just women but everyone in the society is oppressed in some way or the other.
It would be wiser to say that proponents of Islam are not against women’s rights. Islam’s social system is based on sound laws and principles whose sole aim is to provide all men and women with communal and social peace and harmony. If there are some who oppress women and ignorantly promote gender injustice, they just need more of Islam so each of the genders can justly reclaim what is rightfully theirs.