Shafiqur Rehman Barq – an MP of Lok Sabha – made a terrible mistake. No doubt he has proved that Muslims are bigots and do not love their country. If he and Muslims loved the country, why they do not sing (or even respect being sung) the “national” song i.e.Vande Mataram? In my humble and ‘patriotic’ opinion the ‘rebellious’ MP should have been dispatched to Pakistan with the body of Sanaullah Ranjay. And why stop at that, I think in the next census the Government of India should also ask citizens whether or not they sing Vande Mataram. Immediate arrangements must be made for people who don’t sing Vande Mataramto be banished from India. This will also solve the problem of population explosion in India to a great extent. Let me confess that after making this patriotic suggestion, I am expecting some grand reward from the Government or at least from Hindutva forces, of course, if such suggestions are not already in circulation.
Shafiqur Rehman Barq Walkin out
Returning to Barq, I want to remind him that in India everything needs to be assumed. I am sure that Barq– as stubborn as he is – must be unaware of the anecdote; so let’s recollect it first. It is said that a physicist, a chemist and an economist were stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. How to open it was the question or let’s say the problem. The physicist came up with an idea, “Let’s smash the can open with a rock.” The chemist differed, “Let’s build a fire and heat the can.” The economist had easiest of the remedies; he said: “Let’s assume we have a can-opener….”
As far as Indians are concerned, each and every one of them is a better economist when it comes to assumptions. In India we assume we live in the largest “secular-democratic” country of the world; while eating we assume the food is hygienic; while travelling we assume it’s safe out there; while voting we assumeat least one candidate is worth it; while protesting we assume we are being heard; while bribing someone we assume it’s the way of the world; while going to court we assume we will get justice. We assume the police is there to protect us; we assume poverty is declining; we assume India is shining…. The list goes on and on and on, in short we assume the system we are in is worth living in.
Shafiqur Rehman Barq, being an Indian himself, has disappointed the common Indian with the meagre assuming-skill he displayed so brazenly in the LokSabha on 8 May by walking out of the House when the tune of Vande Mataram was on. He could have assumed– however bizarre it may seem – that India is not a homeland but a ten-handed idol of Durgaand must be worshipped.He could have assumed that Bankim Chandra Chatterjee’s novel Anand Math(in which the song is there) was written against British colonialism and not against Muslims.He could have assumed that Nobel laureate Rabindra Nath Tagore and historian Nirad C.Chaudhrysaid nothing validating Muslim-stand on Vande Mataram. He could have assumed that historian R.C.Majumdar has not regarded Bankim Chandra Chatterjee’s nationalism as “Hindu” rather than “Indian”.Or for God’s sake he could, at least, have assumed that he is not respecting the song but is just standing for an exercise. Couldn’t he?
Now we advise him sincerely, of course if he is not exported to Pakistan as many people on social networking sites are suggesting, to write a letter of apology undertaking that from now on he will stand to whatever song is being played in the parliament or in the street even if it is a Hindu Bhajan or a filmi song as badly composed as Munnibadnaamhui…. I – do not assumebut –am sure that such a letter will make him an instant patriot and a role model for Indian Muslims and an emblem of secularism.
However, despite this hopeless exhibition of lack of assuming-skills by a Muslim MP, Indian Muslims are not totally dejected. After all, there were other Muslim MPs in the Parliament, who assumed one thing or the other, while the Vande Mataram tune was being played and refrained from following the lead of Barq.