Love – one of the strongest emotions known to mankind – a power that can ruin or redeem a life – that can bring joy or painful heartbreak.
As the world celebrates this emotion on Valentine’s Day, we see hearts of all sizes and shapes all around, hearts of chocolate and satin. O Yes! It’s Valentines! The day of hearts, red roses, poetry, candies and above all – Love!
There are many traditions about its origin, but the most authentic seems to be the one from Encyclopaedia Britannica that says that this day has nothing to do with Saint Valentine, instead it is related to the Roman pagan festival of their god, Lupercalia.
It was celebrated on 15th February and in honour of the goddess Juno Februata, the names of girls were placed in an urn and the men would draw out the name of a girl at random who would then become their date for the remaining festival.
Many associated it with Cupid (the virtually naked god of love), who is the central character of Valentine’s Day paraphernalia, who shoots people with his arrows to make them fall in love. His mother is said to be Venus (goddess of love) and apparently the rose was her favourite flower.
Saint Valentine is a name which is given to two of the ancient “martyrs” of the Christian Church. It was said that there were two of them, or that there was only one, who died in Rome as the result of the persecution of the Gothic leader Claudius, c. 296 CE. In 350 CE, a church was built in Rome on the site of the place where he died, to perpetuate his memory.
When the Romans embraced Christianity, they continued to celebrate the Feast of Love mentioned above, but they changed it from the pagan concept of “spiritual love” to another concept known as the “martyrs of love”, represented by Saint Valentine who had advocated love and peace, for which cause he was martyred, according to their claims. It was also called the Feast of Lovers, and Saint Valentine was considered to be the patron saint of lovers.
It was also said concerning the origins of this holiday that when the Romans became Christian, after Christianity had become widespread, the Roman emperor Claudius II decreed in the third century CE that soldiers should not get married, because marriage would distract them from the wars they used to fight. This decree was opposed by Saint Valentine, who started to perform marriages for the soldiers in secret. When the emperor found out about that, he threw him in jail and sentenced him to execution.
In prison, he (Saint Valentine) fell in love with the jailer’s daughter, but this was a secret because according to Christian laws, priests and monks were forbidden to marry or fall in love. But he is still regarded highly by the Christians because of his steadfastness in adhering to Christianity when the emperor offered to pardon him if he forsook Christianity and worshipped the Roman gods; then he would be one of his closest confidantes and he would make him his son-in-law. But Valentine refused this offer and preferred Christianity, so he was executed on 14 February 270 CE, on the eve of February 15, the festival of Lupercalis. So this day was named for this saint.
The Story of Civilization says that the Church devised a calendar in which every day was designated as the feast day of one of the saints. In England, Saint Valentine’s Day was to come at the end of winter. When that day came, according to them, the birds mated enthusiastically in the forests, and the young men would put flowers on the windowsills of the homes of the girls whom they loved. (The Story of Civilization by Will Durant, 15/23)
Whatever the origin of this day, today it seems to have returned to its pagan, vulgar roots with the child-god cupid and open dating being very much a part of it. It is celebrated in many parts of the world in different ways.
What kind of love depends upon gifts for its survival? What kind of love is restricted to one day in the whole year? What kind of love breeds hatred, jealousy and a sense of deprivation in many?
This day has come to mean getting dressed in red, valentine cards, hearts, and chocolates. Through these apparently innocent things the occasion promotes the culture of male-female relations. Also becoming common are public displays of emotions including advertising love messages in newspapers, going out on romantic dates and attending valentine balls and parties. Schools are not far behind in holding such parties for their students. As a result, even young children are fed new ideas of developing lusty feelings and expressing them boldly.
Someone may ask: Why do we Muslims not celebrate this festival?
This question may be answered in several ways:
In Islam, the festivals are clearly defined and well established, and no additions or subtractions may be accepted. They are an essential part of our worship and there is no room for ijtihaad or personal opinion. They have been prescribed for us by Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be with him). From the Sunnah: the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be with him) said:
“Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” (narrated by Ahmad, 2/50; Abu Dawood, 4021)
Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“Festivals are part of the laws, clear way and religious ceremonies of which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
‘To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way [al-Maa’idah 5:48]
‘For every nation We have ordained religious ceremonies which they must follow’ [al-Hajj 22:67]
For example, the qiblah (direction faced in prayer), prayer and fasting. So there is no difference between joining them in their festival and joining them in their other rituals. Agreeing with the whole festival is agreeing with kufr. Agreeing with some of their minor issues is the same as agreeing with them in some of the branches of kufr.
Allah has chosen for us Islam as our religion and He will not accept any other religion from anyone, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers [Aal ‘Imraan 3:85]
On this day that the world celebrates love and we see hearts all around, we should ask ourselves: “Have I ever thought of loving the One Who created me, the One Who gave me a heart that can feel love? Has this heart ever felt love for Him? How many times have I cried for His love?”
Ask yourself, “How much do I love Prophet Muhammad who had said: “By Him in Whose Hands my life is, none of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father and his children and all mankind” (Bukhari).
Is Valentine’s Day anything but obeying our desires and following our lusts? Are we only like cattle following our passions and the trends without knowing why, without understanding?
As a Muslim, a boy-girl friendship is totally out of bounds.
In Surah An-Nisa a woman’s qualities are described:
“Chaste, not lustful nor ones taking secret friends.”
Muslims have a beautiful institution of marriage where romance is not a summer fling nor is it based on superficial looks, but on a serene relationship of mutual affection, kindness and responsibility.
No doubt that there are many irreligious practices that occur on that day and those practices are capable of dissuading people from the true meanings of love and selflessness to the extent that the celebration is reduced to a moral decline.
But, we Muslims must not follow in the footsteps of such innovations and superstitions that are common in what is known as the Valentine’s Day.
(With excerpts from www.islam-qa.com and “true love”)