By 2010, only 350 million people will be speaking English as their first language, while around two billion – a third of the world population, will be speaking the language as their second.
Where the sun never set, whether they like it or not, the language of William Shakespeare and Charles Dickens is out to destroy itself. Strangely enough, the last nail in its coffin is being driven not by the Britons, Americans and Australians, but the ever growing number of people who use it as their second language. The New Scientist of March said this perverted version of English will (perhaps) be called “Pinglish”. The experts feel “the” will become “ze”, “friend” may turn into “frien” and phrase “he talks” might turn into “he talk”.
In the light of their line of argument, it appears as if the pro-chaste English have dropped down the yoke much before the showdown. Their line is: The Singaporean English combines English with Malay, Tamil and Chinese and is difficult for English-speaking Westerners to understand. There have always been mutually intelligible dialects of languages such as Chinese, Hindi and Latin. There is no reason to believe that the linguistic future of English will be any different.”
The point is: why are you taking a defensive position? What prevents you from telling the corrupters that this is chaste, standard English and that is the corrupted and, unacceptable form. The purity of the language will be decided by what is chaste and standard and not the corrupted, corroded versions.
The defeatist approach of the weak-kneed can be seen in the form of a new compendium, containing 15 of Shakespeare’s plays, known as To Be Or Not To Be, Innit: A Yoog Spea Guide To Shakespeare. In this hilarious effort, “Hamlet” has become “Amet”; the State of Denmark is no longer “rotten” but “mirging”.
Satirist Martin Baum insists on his website that the abridged versions retain the essence of the originals, including “the important sexist, duplicitous, cross-dressing on violent moments that made William Shakespeare well wicked.
“I’m not on a crusade or anything but if it can help generate an interest in Shakespeare I can’t see that as a bad thing,” he was, not long ago, quoted as saying by the Bournemouth Daily Echo newspaper in southern England.
No level-headed lover of the English language or literature is suspecting Mr. Baum’s bonafides. Nor am I, an unalloyed Indian, imputing motives to him. But is Mr. Baum sure that his valued effort would make Shakespeare more popular and more understandable?
“Verona was de turf of de feuding Montagues and de Capulet families,” according to the synopsis of the classic story of young love spurned in the language of the street.
“And coz they was always brawling and stuff, de prince of Verona told them to cool it or else they was gonna get well mashed if they carried on larging it with each other.”
A para earlier: the audience have been informed: “The Two Gentlemen of Verna” have become “geezas” and Romeo, one of the star-crossed lovers of Romeo and Juliet, now pines for his “fit bitch Jules”.