Modern life is characterised by crass materialism. Today individuals love to hoard wealth by hook or by crook. There is a race for amassing wealth, so much so that it is said a person having good manners gets due respect and honour in society only when he is rich; contrary to it, if he is endowed with good manners but is poor, his good manners do not help him lead a respectable life in society. This approach to life is highly materialistic.
Materialism breeds many social evils like charging interest on loans, bribery, embezzlement, looting, usurping others’ properties, etc.
However, in Islamic scheme of things, good manners are a fundamental part of Iman or faith. The Qur’ān says: “O mankind! We created you from male and female and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that you may despise each other). …” (49:13). Here the Book of God means to say that God has made us into a particular nation and a particular group of society just to enable us to behave with fellow human beings according to the socially acceptable manners. And it is apparent that in no case we are allowed to despise each other.
There are a number of traditions in which God’s Messenger ﷺ has underlined the importance of good manners. He said, “Nothing is heavier on the Scale of Deeds than one’s good manners.” (Bukhari) In another tradition, God’s Messenger ﷺ said, “A person may attain through good manners the same level of virtue as those who spend their nights in prayer.” (Bukhari)
Good manners in fact emanate from righteousness, which is the sum total of our belief in God, His Messenger ﷺ, Books, Angels and the Day of Judgement. When asked about the definition of righteousness, God’s Messenger ﷺ replied, “Righteousness is good character.” (Bukhari) He also said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good things or remain silent.” (Muslim)
Good manners help us lead a peaceful and respectable life in society. The Prophet ﷺ said: “The best among you in Islam are those with the best manners.” (Bukhari) Good manners also bring us closer to God and He begins to love us, as the Prophet ﷺ said, “The most beloved of Allah’s slaves to Allah are those with the best manners.” (Tabrani)
We can acquire good manners by loving for our fellow brothers what we love for ourselves, by showing mercy to our young ones and respect for our elders and by never losing our temper however provocative the situation may be.
Thus, we can say that good manners are mark of civility. We must have good manners and good behaviour if we want to be civilized and to win the pleasure of God.